I was sitting with my Eugene contingency, the JIRCs, and yeah call me a wuss, but I was actually a little afraid for my health.

I've made the mistake of standing next to a speaker at a Dead Machines show before. OUCH!

I don't know about that, but years ago after listening to Lou Reed's "Transformer" for a whole weekend I grew a second pair of nipples.

On my back.

I saw Wolf Eyes at Chop Suey a while back and that band completely brought it.

I was embarrassed about the resulting, though temporary, Erectile Dysfunction, but it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

Fascinating "testemony." I've heard wolf eyes, but not live--but still, I'm sure they're akin to a nice uterine massage. You boys are so fragile.

I can't say that I experienced testicular discomfort at that show, but the volume was astonishing. To say “that show was loud” would be an understatement on the order of saying “the sun is hot.” I was wearing my Etymotic earplugs, which carve around 20dB off of anything I listen to, and I'd say the volume was uncomfortably loud.

Hive Mind was the best/worst, though. He dropped this insane bass drone that set everything in the room pulsing with insane energy. You could feel the air vibrating in your lungs as you sucked it in, a sensation I imagine as not much different than breathing a pile of rusty nails.

It rattled my skull and made me literally dizzy. When it stopped, I felt like a hastily abandoned one-night-stand, desperately trying to towel the jizz from my back without smearing the sheets with it.

It was just that good.

Sunn0))) did things to my chest cavity that usually qualify as "congenital defects", I'm pretty sure.


I think by now everyone has heard about their live show and its volume, but there's really no preparing you for the first bass drop when you realize that you could very well choke on your adam's apple. Ladies: you think you are safe but you are not.


The weirdest parts were the microtonal shifts as the band de- and re-tuned instruments to mix and match harmonic frequencies in the feedback. There are no words, I assure you. Just a healthy fear.


The only other time I've been physically rattled was at Merzbow here in Chicago about a year back. The Empty Bottle is basically a sonic kill jar, so anything that loud and punishing only gets magnified in its confines. But my face felt like I had just been in a car wreck when I left. None of the similar chest/throat compression, only my pretty head.

Actually my urethra started hurting about half-way through the Melvins show. I pushed through, however, and emerged on the other side.

Pushed through what, Paulus, you scoundrel.

C'mon Segal, quit frontin'. I know you'be been there before. Probably even a few times this week already.

Even working with the disadvantage of no back nipples...