The traveling arena tour of Cirque du Soleil was at Key Arena Oct. 3rd and 4th with their Delirium show. I went, expecting fire, gymnasts twirling from their teeth, eerie postmodern clowns on hallucinogens, and fire. What went down? Yanni, Yanni, and more Yanni. It was amazing acrobatics set to power cheese music. And there was no fire.

The press release reads, “A live music concert that pushes the limit of arena performance. Feel the passion of the musicians, singers and dancers driven by the beat of remixed music for Cirque du Soleil.”� Feel the passion? Uh oh. You know when you read that, something’s fishy.

It was touted as a music concert. They took songs that have appeared in various Cirque du Soleils, and re-worked them into what is supposed to appeal to a younger audience.

Whoever the music director is, is way, way off. Some bald little French-Canadian dude who’s too sexy for his shirt. I mean, come on, little bald French-Canadian dude, you are Cirque du Soleil, your budget has no limitations, the best you can do is Afro-Christian rock world beat schlop with an opera singer wailing over the top about spirit? You have an opportunity to set the visual icon of Cirque du Soleil to an original and real musical backdrop that holds up on the audible end, and you absolutely blow it.

You've got 3 women dangling from the Key Arena rafters, spinning in a torrent of strength, skill, and uncanny coordinated agility. People in the audience are dropping their jaws and getting chills at the aerial artistry. How bout some kind of Aphex Twin / Madlib mixed sonic frenzy? And not the lame ass Phil Collins Tarzan crap. This isn't Muppets on Ice, it's the future of circus.

There's a woman spinning 7 silver hoops at the same time, and a guy balancing by one hand on a pole 30 ft in the air. Trapeze gymnasts spin and gyrate over 4 strong men hooked in by the legs, throwing each other up in the air and doing flips. And then there's a fake Kenny G, Rico Suave looking guy flipping his waist length hair around and playing a djembe drum. The music, how do I artfully say - totally sucked. It was a detraction. Rico Suave percussion man needed to put on his shirt, stop flipping his hair around, and get off the stage. No telling how long this guy stares at himself in a mirror everyday.

The usage of space and the projections were incredible. It was a long rectangular stage running down the middle of the arena, so it was almost in the round. Screens for projections would slide out along the length of both sides of the stage and what took place visually was an ocular wheelhouse. Brains around Key Arena were confused by the signals their optical nerves were sending. You couldn't believe what you were seeing at times, especially when they were projecting water and waves that submerged the Key into illusionary depths.

There was an abstract story line of a man floating through a dream, but I couldn't get over the music.

The Delirium press release should read, "This music is adult contemporary garbage. This is for 12 year olds and people who like Barbara Streisand. This is for people who cut loose by paying $20 for parking and drink $11 3 oz. cups of white wine. This is for men who bathe in gallons of cologne and for women who love men that bathe in gallons of cologne. This is music for the mindless that may ruin your Cirque experience. 100% soundproofing earplugs are recommended."�

There is a solution for Cirque du Soleil's musical plight "“ Have the music be performed by Out Hud. The !!! spin off. Or Mogwai. Have it be Cirque du Soleil's Delirium, with music by Mogwai or Out Hud or T. Raumschmiere or Telefon Tel Aviv. Put the same integrity into the audio as you do the visual, and get Kenny G Rico Suave far away from your stage.