On Dasher, On Wolfgang, On Perry, and Uppers
In other news:
Santa Claus is now fronting the band Journey. He is also in the middle of a love triangle with Steve Perry and Wolfgang Puck. Yes, Santa - Saint Nick, the jolly old elf, singing for Journey - “Anyway You Want It”Ě, “Don’t Stop Believin’”Ě, and “Who’s Crying Now.”Ě It’s not pretty either, Santa can’t sing for shit. Nor can he handle life as a rock and roll front man. Santa has spiraled, sucked into a life of excess and greed.
The years, the red outfit, and the pressures of having to give gifts to every person on Earth finally got to Santa. Things with Mrs. Claus had been on the rocks forever. Santa needed to escape, to break free and be free. So he went to Maui. That’s where he met the guys from Journey.
When they reformed, for the 7th time, Journey wanted their original front man, Steve Perry, to sing, but he wouldn’t have any part of it. So they forged on without him. During a tour opening for Def Leppard, they went through two replacement singers who both came down with throat ailments. Needing to rest and decide what the band should do next, they retreated to Maui, and met Santa at a film festival there. During an impromptu jam at a poolside cabana, Santa started singing. One thing led to another and next thing you know, Santa was officially fronting Journey, but with more of techno hard core sound.
“It just felt too right,”Ě Santa said. “I know “ėDon’t Stop Believin’ like the back of my hand. I’ve sung enough carols. Techno hard core just comes naturally to me. This is who I really am.”Ě
Deep down, the guys in Journey wanted the original line up back. They weren’t into the techno hard core thing. But they were too desperate and there was too much money to be made. I mean, Santa fronting Journey? Techno? Of course it’s huge.
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