In the middle of a bunch of show posters on a pole across the street, there’s a little note Duct-taped on all sides. Looks like this:

Transcribed:

People. This week “my partner” told me he has had an STD for years. He told me his STD test was clean before the time we first made love. He knowingly lied to me. He is part of this little community. You know him probably. Please, be careful now. If we don’t protect each other, we can’t protect ourself. Peace.

Hey lady—that sucks.

But also: thanks for nothing. What “little community”? The music community? “You know him probably”? What is that? How is this going to help anyone? Makes sense you’re upset, because you were lied to and strung along, and because your life and your emotions were wrapped up with this guy for a time, but it’s weird to be sounding the alarm that someone (and someone you “probably” know!) has “an STD.” You’re talking about herpes, right? Just reading between the lines. Guess what: By the time they are young adults, more than 50% of Americans have HSV-1. And about 22% of Americans have HSV-2. And you can get HSV-2 from HSV-1. (Lots of sources. Google it.)

Last time I went to the doctor, we did the whole battery of tests, because when you’re gay you always do the whole battery of tests, and when we got the results—clean!—doctor noted that I didn’t have herpes, and I asked why she mentioned this specifically, and she said, “90% of people have herpes.” Not much of an exaggeration. If you live a long life, pissed off writer of this poster, your chances of getting herpes—at least HSV-1—go way up. According to this website, 80-90% of Americans have HSV-1 antibodies. Even Mr. Savage, who’s a girl about cooties, has said before that herpes is a “non-disclosure” STD—something you don’t necessarily have to tell sexual partners about, because it’s so common.

I get it. Dude lied. People in bands always lie so they can have sex with people. It’s well documented. Fuck him. (Er, I mean, don’t fuck him. No one fuck him!) But pissed off writer of this poster: Relax. Relax with the knowledge that the world is full of liars. Relax into the idea of getting older, with all that comes with it. People will still sleep with you. Put down the Xerox machine and the Duct tape, go home, put on the first Shins album, and (in the immortal words of Bethany Jean Clement) make yourself a nice martini.