XLR8R’s Jan/Feb 2007 cover, by Paper Rad

Hearing other people recount their dreams—is there anything more tedious? Not really, so I’m going to condense a dream I had recently to a mercifully brief summary.

In this dream, I conceived the idea of… rave karaoke. Jesus, was I excited over this concept. I instantly thought I could market rave karaoke and make millions. I had this sneaking suspicion that the esteemed music critic and Generation Ecstasy author, Simon Reynolds, had already come up with this notion, but eventually I banished that thought and started thinking in practical terms how I could capitalize on this genius idea—rave-araoke.

The time for rave nostalgia is imminent (see this month’s XLR8R for further proof), I reasoned, so it seemed like a feasible business model could be drafted. Of course, you’d need plenty of glowsticks and candy pacifiers and huge top hats (patrons would have to supply their own tent-like trousers). I began to think of rave anthems with which to stock the karaoke machine: Moby’s “Go” (hard to eff up those lyrics), Utah Saints’ “Something Good,” Orbital’s “Chime,” (no lyrics? Then interpretive dance your ass off; problem solved), the Orb’s “Little Fluffy Clouds,” Joey Beltram’s “Energy Flash,” Aphex Twin’s “Didgeridoo”… Then I woke up.

Now, that dream seems pretty ludicrous, but I still think this concept potentially has legs [rimshot]. Anyone want to explore the options with me? The more I think about this, the more I’m convinced that this idea could fly. In the meantime, I’m slapping a ™ on RAVE-ARAOKE. Don’t even think about stealing my concept.