If you’re a fan of the big dumb power-chord crunch of buttrock and you’ve never seen Buttrock Suites—featuring many of Seattle’s best modern dancers busting moves to songs by Scorpions, Def Leppard, G*n*f*n*R, and Aldo Fucking Nova—you are an idiot.

I first experienced the magic of BRS last year, and I was ridiculously entertained from start to finish. Tomorrow night brings a new Buttrock Suites show to Neumo’s, where the greatest hits of BRS will be performed for the first time in history with a live band.

I’ll be fascinated to see how this works out. For me, a lot of buttrock’s thrills come from its completely unnatural, buffed-by-Mutt-Lange studio-sound power gloss, but the presence and rawness of a live band might prove just as exciting for the Suites. We shall see, we shall see.

And conflict-of-interest alert: Tomorrow night’s show will kick off with a selection of buttrock readings, from such “Seattle luminaries” as Rebecca Davis, Bret Fetzer, Nick Garrison, Imogen Love, Cory Nealy, Sarah Rudinoff, and me. Word on the street says Garrison and Rudinoff will be reenacting Larry King’s interview of Tawny Kitaen, which is reason enough to go. For tickets, go here.