Uno- Tonight at the High Dive is From the North. Malfunkshun’s reformed metal, lead by Shawn Smith’s medicinal funk scream. It’s Sabbath slanted rock, based on the lyrics of Andrew Wood. Bring your tiger and slay the beast.

Dos- At Baltic Room is Professor FITS, spinning his doppler trance radar breaks for the residence of Ruff Gemz. Bring your tiger to that too, but be warned, Crispin Glover could be there.

Tres- My high school Spanish teacher, a 4 ft. 3 inch Cuban fireball named Olympia Sotolongo, used to say, “Open your workbook to los ejercicios. We are going to estudy the endings.” But her ‘endings’ sounded just like she was saying ‘Indians.’ One day my friend, Ben, asked her why we were studying Indians, and she said, “Beng, baby, why are you so estupid?”

Cuatro- I got the Cher song, “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves”, stuck in my head:

“She was born in the wagon of a traveling show / Mama would dance for the money they would throw.
Papa would do whatever he could / Preach a little gospel, sell a couple bottles of Dr Good.

They hear it from the people of the town / gypsies, tramps and thieves.
And every night the men would come around and lay their money down.”

Then it goes off on how the daughter gets knocked up by a hitchhiker. There’s nothing about tigers, but she talks about how the dad would shoot the guy, if he knew what he had done to his daughter.