Shit Talk What Sucks Right Now
posted by March 2 at 15:25 PMon
There isn’t a band I hate more right now than Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (including, today at least, the Red Hot Chili Peppers… maybe I have issues with bands with red in their name?). Anyway, have you heard them yet? They’re so serious and pretentious and TERRIBLE. Their over-played single, “Face Down,” prompted me to write this U&C in this week’s paper:
RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, EMERY, SCARY KIDS SCARING KIDS, A STATIC LULLABY, KADISFLY
(Fenix) Hey, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, I heard your song “Face Down,” that little anti-violence-against-women ditty that’s all over MTV2. (For those who aren’t familiar, the chorus is “Do you feel like a man when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?”) I appreciate someone calling out bastards that hit women, but did you have to do it in such a sissy “let’s fight this fight with a song!” sort of way? Like, if some dude clocked me in the face, would you bust out from behind a brick wall with your overstyled hair and tight jeans and play this predictable drivel and expect that fucker to learn a lesson? He’d kick my ass and then beat you to death with your guitars. So thanks for the thought, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (BTW—that name—WTF?), but I think I’m better fighting this fight on my own. MEGAN SELING
Seriously. I mean every word. They’re playing Saturday night at the Fenix with Emery, A Static Lullaby, and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. I would boycott the show, but instead I’ll be at the 31Knots/Matt & Kim/Two Ton Boa event at the Vera Project. It’s how I roll.
But just so you can get the full effect, here’s what they look like. (It’s easier to picture them breaking out from behind that brick wall in a burst of smoke if you can actually see their stupid hair.)
Click here to find out what they sound like (if you must know). And when looking at and listening to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, bear in mind this is what their “objective” as a band is:
Our Objective: Writing straight forward rock songs about topics that are REAL and you can relate to. There’s no hidden meaning. We want you to understand and we want to share it with you.
Ugh. It makes me die a little inside each time I think of them.
Now, just to prove I’m not a complete asshole all hopped up on hate pills, here’s a list of things I do like:
Kittens and puppies
Amy Poehler saying “I wanna kick ass so bad!” in that one Upright Citizen’s Brigade skit
Kiehl’s lip balm