Shit Talk If You’re Bored Then You’re Boring. Right?
posted by April 19 at 12:10 PMon
Then I must be really boring.
This past Tuesday, this book was released.
My So-Called Punk: Green Day, Fall Out Boy, The Distillers, Bad Religion—-How Neo-Punk Stage-Dived into the Mainstream
It’s no secret I’m (admittedly strangely) obsessed with mainstream “neo-punk,” so when a review copy came in the mail, I was sorta stoked to read it (knowing, of course, it could be terrible). I’m only 25 pages in, and not only am I fucking bored out of my skull, but I also grow increasingly more frustrated with the turn of every page.
It begins with a “A Brief History of Punk.” Now, the history of punk is long, and there are tons of different tangents to go on. More notably, the history of punk music is also one of the most notoriously fucked-up, intriguing, and exciting stories in music’s history (in my opinion), but the way Matt Diehl puts it together is confusing, sometimes wrong, and (worst of all) boring.
Example #1: His description of Black Flag.
Black Flag—a later incarnation of which included future alternative rock celebrity Henry Rollins—took the Ramones’ speedy rifferama and transformed it in its own image. Black Flag made punk even faster, more raw, more brutal, more jazzily experimental, resulting in a subgenre known as “hardcore.”
What? Jazzily experimental? No. Hardcore as a subgenre? Also no. Hardcore is not a subgenre of punk, it’s a genre in its own right. Also, why are you writing about it like you’re trying to describe it to my grandmother?
What’s more punk than multicultural bands like Bloc Party and TV on the Radio out-Radioheading Radiohead, making challenging, experimental, yet indelibly soulful rock that follows no plan other than their own desire to be innovative?
Bloc Party and TV on the Radio are out-Radioheading Radiohead therefore they’re more punk!? Out-Radioheading Radiohead? Are you fucking kidding me?
Furthermore, this sentence also baffled me:
…it’s not a coincidence that “crunk” rhymes easily with “punk.”
Uh… it is, actually. Crunk also rhymes with drunk, you see. And the “C” comes from crazy, meaning “crazy drunk.” So yeah, dude, it’s a complete coincidence that crunk rhymes easily with “punk.”
So far in the 25 pages I’ve suffered through, when I’m not on the verge of falling asleep, I’m on the verge of scraping my face off with a copy of God Save the Queen.
I’m going to keep reading, though. Perhaps Diehl will get more in his element when talking about the era of punk I grew up with (the Dookie, Stranger Than Fiction era)? Or maybe the whole thing will continue to be a complete wreck.
If things don’t get better by page 50, I’m gonna burn it.