First this one:

Hi Ari,
Wanted to let you know about Ari Hest (especially since you share the same first name), a review copy of his new album is on the way.

Then this one:

Hi Ari,
Writing to talk to you about another Ari….Have you made a decision to cover or preview Ari Hest’s show at the The Triple Door on Thursday, May 10th?
Take care,
[REDACTED]
P.S. Do you watch Entourage?

Wow! Me and a performer have the same name! BREAKING NEWS! I also have the same name as a character on television! That is a very convincing pitch. Guess what? I BET WE ARE ALL JEWISH! You know, since it’s a Jewish name? I bet that’s the REAL conspiracy!

Good lord. I bet she thinks I am a guy, anyhow.