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Monday, May 21, 2007

Who Needs Publicists?

posted by on May 21 at 16:17 PM

Why would you need publicists (or for that matter, bands) when you have Bumbershoot’s Band Bio Generator?

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1

Or music journalists for that matter?! Ari, we have to destroy this thing...

Posted by Eric Grandy | May 21, 2007 5:08 PM
2

Here's mine:

A history of indie rock icons: The Plural Noun(s)
Originally formed in an abandoned laundromat in Seattle, The Plural Noun(s) found themselves at the top of the the indie rock scene in 2006 with their debut album, Import Album. The band's latest album, Sea of PBR, hybridizes Sloan's unabashed lyrical stylings with shoe-gazing Brit-Pop to slap together a bevy of chart-topping concoctions. With standout tracks like "White Belts," dominating radio airwaves far and wide, The Plural Noun(s) is an essential addition to any music lover's library.

Anyone else got a good one?

Posted by Scottie | May 21, 2007 5:24 PM
3

A history of metal icons: Projectile Herpes Scream

Emerging from the wasteland better known as Bremerton, Projectile Herpes Scream exploded onto the metal scene in 2004 with their debut album, Razors in the vagina. The band's latest album, Razors in the vagina (unplugged), layers Dolf Lungwort's chilling roars with blazing guitar solos to forge an album teeming with spine-tingling classics. With standout tracks like "Straitjacket stutterer," look for Projectile Herpes Scream to be a major part in the metal landscape for years to come.

Posted by Dr_Awesome | May 21, 2007 6:00 PM
4

Rising from the mean streets of Jackson, Mississippi, Ghey Bharr broke into the hip-hop scene in 2003 with their debut album, Thug Plug. The band's latest album, Exlaxly Philes, fuses Moopsie's hard-hitting lyrics with nostalgic beats to churn out a record boiling over with bassy street anthems. With standout tracks like "WonderBro," already certified platinum in Europe, Ghey Bharr can count on loads of future success.

Posted by dirge | May 21, 2007 6:46 PM
5

Emerging from the savannahs of Missoula, Didn't climbed to the top of the modern global scene in 1999 with their debut album, Less is More Ancient. The band's latest album, concentrated, weaves Mel Green's old-world compositions with an undeniable percussion section to create undeniable grooves. With standout tracks like "Fill me Film me," already certified platinum in Europe, Didn't can count on loads of future success.

Posted by brandon | May 21, 2007 8:45 PM
6

A history of metal icons: Kissing Kousins
Born in the armpit of Under your sisters festering vag, Kissing Kousins exploded onto the metal scene in 2007 with their debut album, Puppy Love. The band's latest album, I'll Kill the Bitch, joins A bunch of crazed snatch slinging whores's looming growls with jaw-rattling guitars to cook up an effort bursting at the seams with pulse-pounding scorchers. With standout tracks like "Slap that dick right outta ya mouth," don't be surprised if you find Kissing Kousins at the top of the metal charts and beyond.

Posted by opus | May 21, 2007 9:18 PM
7

A history of metal icons: Kissing Kousins
Born in the armpit of Under your sisters festering vag, Kissing Kousins exploded onto the metal scene in 2007 with their debut album, Puppy Love. The band's latest album, I'll Kill the Bitch, joins A bunch of crazed snatch slinging whores's looming growls with jaw-rattling guitars to cook up an effort bursting at the seams with pulse-pounding scorchers. With standout tracks like "Slap that dick right outta ya mouth," don't be surprised if you find Kissing Kousins at the top of the metal charts and beyond.

Posted by opus | May 21, 2007 9:18 PM
8

A history of rock icons: Fresh Perfume
After practicing their craft for years as a Billy Idol tribute band in Burbank, Fresh Perfume busted down the doors of the rock scene in 1999 with their debut album, Lips Like Cocaine. The band's latest album, These are the Days of Bourbon and Weed, merges Ash Fitzweather's over-the-top anthems with unconventional melodies to churn out a record full of heart-pounding post-punk. With standout tracks like "I expect you to Fly," look for Fresh Perfume to be a major influence in the rock landscape for years to come.

Posted by otla | May 21, 2007 10:12 PM
9

Tush

Rising from the various youth centers and high school auditoriums of Cape Town, Tush shot to the top of the pop scene in 2007 with their debut album, 'Boir'. The band's latest album, 'Dregs', channels Dent's saccharine hooks with clean singalongs to fashion an album teeming with teenage anthems. With standout tracks like "Jollies," dominating radio airwaves far and wide, Tush is an essential addition to any music lover's library.

Posted by Fawkes | May 22, 2007 12:05 AM
10

Emerging from the murky depths of Washington's Skagit Valley come Reeeerneeerneeeerneer. Pioneer spirited and environmentally conscious messages backed by the driving skin thrashing of drummers Steve Pendleton and Anton Golvianakova alongside the plodding, rollicking low strings of Warren"Buzzsaw" Alvarez this unusual trio is math rocking their way through the post-grunge wasteland of The Northwest with something new and fun for the lumberjack in all of us.

Posted by Early Lee Payton | May 22, 2007 4:23 AM
11

Hey Ari,

My self-esteem is low enough already ... but the correct answer is, no one really.

XO

Chris

Posted by Chris Estey | May 22, 2007 9:44 AM
12

@10
Is Anton a woman?

Posted by Dancing Bear | May 22, 2007 9:45 AM
13

A history of indie rock icons: zebra mussels

Hailing from a dusty attic in south haven, mi, zebra mussels climbed to the top of the the indie rock scene in 2005 with their debut album, encrusted lighthouses. The band's latest album, westward migration, merges kilroy mcgood's disaffected lyrical stylings with throwback instrumentation to assemble another collection of retro-inspired gems. With standout tracks like "hungry for salmon," look for zebra mussels to be a major figure in the indie rock landscape for years to come.

Posted by josh | May 22, 2007 10:11 AM
14

A history of metal icons: The Autistic Shits

Spawned in the armpit of Tacoma, The Autistic Shits climbed to the top of the metal scene in 2005 with their debut album, Asspergers. The band's latest album, Like RainMan Only Bad At Math, welds Terry Tardo's ominous vocals with biting guitars to forge an effort bursting at the seams with sludgy anthems. With standout tracks like "Diaper Gravy," already certified platinum in Europe, The Autistic Shits can count on loads of future success.

Posted by Terry Tardo | May 22, 2007 10:19 AM
15

"loads of future success."

Posted by ahhahahahaha | May 22, 2007 10:22 AM
16

A history of metal icons: The Runs

Born in the seedy clubs of Ypsilanti, The Runs burst onto the metal scene in 1992 with their debut album, You've Got. The band's latest album, Still Gettin', joins Bloat Acid's ominous vocals with thunderous atmospherics to create an effort bursting at the seams with technical masterpieces. With standout tracks like "Where's the TP?," dominating radio airwaves far and wide, The Runs is an essential addition to any music lover's library.

Posted by big money | May 22, 2007 12:40 PM

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