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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I Hate Everything About You

posted by on June 12 at 12:43 PM

mean.jpg

“Information Travels Faster,” by Death Cab for Cutie started it. My iPod was on shuffle this morning (I was too indecisive to actually commit to listening to anything) and that was the first song that came up. Here’s the opening line:

I intentionally wrote it out to be an illegible mess.
You wanted me to write you letters, but I’d rather lose your address
and forget that we’d ever met and what did or did not occur.

“What an awful and terrible thing to say,” I thought. “Christ, I’d hate to be the girl that inspired this song.”

Which got me thinking (it’s what I do), What’s the meanest song I’ve ever heard? What song, of all songs, is the one song I’d never want to have ever inspired?

Immediately, the old Brand New tune came to mind; “Seven Times Seventy Seven” wishes a brutal death against its muse.

So is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish
I’ve seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there’s ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield

Ouch.

Then I started thinking about how every Minor Threat song would probably sting a little if I were the dude Mckaye were screaming at. (But I’m not because I’m straight edge—woot woot!). But with that in mind, and for the sake of paring things down, I eliminated most hardcore songs that came to mind just because almost all of those songs seem mean in one way or another when they’re really just angry and not necessarily that cruel. (I mean “Fuck you” isn’t the meanest thing to say to someone no matter how pissed you sound. Be creative with your insults, people.)

I’m also not going to count anything that could be classified as “hate” music (like Prussian Blue) because, well, that shit’s really mean and I don’t want to shine a spotlight on it if I don’t have to. (Plus, those girls is hella creepy—Children of the Corn creepy.)

I’m trying to think of mean songs by musicians or bands who don’t necessarily focus on writing mean songs all the time. I think that makes the insult that much worse. Death Cab, for example aren’t really that harsh, but even in their sparkly catalog of indie rock, Mr. Gibbard’s managed to fit in a few biting lyrics (See also “Tiny Vessels”). And bonus points if the lyrics are actually good.

So as I scanned my iPod for inspiration, and tried to visualize my entire CD collection in order to come up with the epitome of nasty, I sent a text message out to 25 or so of my closest friends. "Sluttering" by Jawbreaker (see, I'm not the only one who's obsessed!) was the only song to get two votes. Another friend also suggested the aforementioned Brand New track.

A few people mentioned songs I never heard, including "Fuck You" by Archive, which is shockingly harsh.

Bet you sleep like a child with your thumb in your mouth
I could creep up beside put a gun in your mouth
Makes me sick when I hear all the shit that you say
So much crap coming out it must take you all day
There’s a space kept in hell with your name on the seat
With a spike in the chair just to make it complete
When you look at yourself do you see what I see
If you do why the fuck are you looking at me

Wow. Dude's pissed.

"How Do You Sleep" by John Lennon, "No Scrubs" by TLC, "No Children" by Mountain Goats, "Your Cheatin' Heart" by Hank Williams, "59 Times the Pain" by Hüsker Dü, "You're Ugly" by Butt Trumpet, "Hit the Road Jack" by Ray Charles (but written by Percy Mayfield, right?), and "It Ain't Me, Babe" by Johnny Cash, "Lipstick" by Guttermouth, "So What" by the Anti Nowhere League (complete with the line "you boring little cunt"), and "that one Cock Sparrer song" also got votes.

And Jonathan Zwickel immediately started singing the opening to "Last Caress" by the Misfits (and covered by Metallica) when I asked him the question. "I got something to say! I killed your baby today!" The song also mentions raping your mom. Harsh toke, for sure.

But what's the meanest?

RSS icon Comments

1

Roses - Andre 3000
(funny but definitely wouldn't want to be the muse)

Everything About You - Ugly Kid Joe
(but i think you already have this one covered)

Nerdy - Poison The Well

I Hate You - Insomnia

You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette

umm that's all that i can think of at this moment, sorry, i can only think of typical suck ones.

Posted by Stefski | June 12, 2007 2:36 PM
2

TAKE THEM ALL
TAKE THEM ALL
PUT THEM UP AGAINST THE WALL AND SHOOT' EM

Actually, that song totally qualifies in the Prussian Blue category.

Posted by Ari Spool | June 12, 2007 2:42 PM
3

"Idiot Wind" by Bob Dylan is pretty damning:

Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth
You're an idiot, babe
It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe

And:

We're idiots, babe
It's a wonder we can even feed ourselves

I'm not sure I'd like to be the muse for either "Stupid Girl" or "Under My Thumb" by The Rolling Stones, either.

McLusky always brought the hate well:

If had to give you something then I think I'd give you nothing
If I had to give you something then I think I'd go to hell

Or:

And you were such an ugly child
You were such an awkward child
You were such a stupid child
We should have cottoned on

Not that I really know what "cottoning on" is - but I assume it is Welsh slang for "tossed your fetal corpse in a McDonalds dumpster and gotten three McChickens and a small fry to go".

Posted by danmohr | June 12, 2007 3:02 PM
4

I was going to respond to this with something about "Sluttering (May 4th)," but then I thought, maybe I should read after the jump first, and there it was, of course. Anyways:

This is a story you won't tell the kids we'll never have/If you hear this song a hundred times it still won't be enough

Ouch!


Posted by Eric Grandy | June 12, 2007 3:04 PM
5

"Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

Nice chorus:
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil
And you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
But I won't cry

Posted by MattyDread | June 12, 2007 3:47 PM
6

Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
God I sure hope you are dead.

-"Satin in a Coffin" by Modest Mouse

Posted by Madashell | June 12, 2007 3:57 PM
7

Sluttering is definetly my go-to for any Line-Out Post, but Death Cab For Cutie's Styrofoam Plates always breaks my heart when I hear it:

I won't join in the procession that's speaking their
peace using five dollar words while praising his integrity,
just cause he's gone doesn't change the fact:
he was a bastard in life, thus a bastard in death.

Ouch.

Posted by gillsans | June 12, 2007 3:58 PM
8

"The Million You Never Made" - Ani Difranco


at night when you're asleep
self-hatred's going to creep in
and try to blame it on the devil
the one who's bed you sleep in
and don't tell me what they did to you
as though you had no choice
tell me, isn't that your picture?
isn't that your voice?
if you don't live what you sing about
your mirror is going to find out
oh yeah

Posted by konstantConsumer | June 12, 2007 3:59 PM
9

Crying in my beer by Screeching Weasel

if you were a TV show baby you would have been canceled, due to declining viewership recycled plots and bad acting

Posted by Ryan | June 12, 2007 4:00 PM
10

"How Do You Sleep?"
Lennon calls McCartney's music "Muzak".
Not that he was necessarily wrong. But definitely mean.

Posted by Eric from Boulder | June 12, 2007 4:02 PM
11

Pink Floyd - Pigs (Three Different Ones)

Bus stop rat bag, ha ha charade you are.
You fucked up old hag, ha ha charade you are.
You radiate cold shafts of broken glass.
You're nearly a good laugh,
Almost worth a quick grin.
You like the feel of steel,
You're hot stuff with a hatpin,
And good fun with a hand gun.
You're nearly a laugh,
You're nearly a laugh
But you're really a cry.

Posted by elswinger | June 12, 2007 4:08 PM
12

Alkaline Trio's Radio is also pretty mean with great lines like
waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me
I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved
while you're taking your time with apologies,
I'm making my plans for revenge
and I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall

Posted by Ryan | June 12, 2007 4:13 PM
13

Album of the Year (the album) by the Good Life and Domestica (also the album) by Cursive. Tim Kasher wrote both of these following a shit divorce. It totally sucks to be his ex-wife, having two really good albums all about you being a bitch.

Posted by lou | June 12, 2007 4:17 PM
14

Fuck you. Fucking Americans, Yankee.
You're gonna die outta cancer, I promise...
No one does what you did to me.
You wanna know something? Fuck you.
I want your balls smashed, eat shit. Bastard.

"Message to Harry Manback" by Tool

Posted by Madashell | June 12, 2007 4:19 PM
15

not mean, necessarily. but, OUCH:

Baby, I see you've made yourself all sick again
Didn't I do a good job of pretending?
You're saying that the victim doesn't want it to end
Good. I get to dress up and play the assassin again
It's my favorite
It's got personality
I should have seen this shit coming down the hall
Every night I spent in that bed with you facing the wall
If I could have only once heard you scream
To feel you were alive
Instead of watching you abandoning yourself


- "When We Two Parted," Afghan Whigs

Posted by kerri harrop | June 12, 2007 4:40 PM
16

The first few that jump to mind are:
Hurt A Fly- Built To Spill
Hate Song- The Posies
Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole- MARTHA WAINWRIGHT
Fuck Was I - Jenny Owens Young

Posted by lilblackcat | June 12, 2007 4:42 PM
17

Well I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
[...]
Baby I'm determined that I'd rather see you dead
[...]
Better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand, little girl
Catch you with another man, that's the end-ah, little girl.
("Run for Your Life", The Beatles)

One day when the world is set to rise
I'm going to murder all the people I don't like
("You Should All Be Murdered", Another Sunny Day)

the rhythms are weak, and you can't sing along
Does the world really need another
Orange Cake Mix song?
("Orange Cake Mix Song", Tullycraft) (this one actually sent the subject into an embarrassing meds-fueled internet rage)

I'm not going to quote any lyrics from the abysmal "Morrissey Rides A Cock Horse" by the Warlock Pinchers.

Posted by Fnarf | June 12, 2007 4:48 PM
18

Prayer to God by Shellac.

Posted by the man who couldn't blog | June 12, 2007 4:57 PM
19

East meets West (ergh)
I love your sushi
We come to hang in ole' Japan!
You love sci-fi - bonsai - stir-fry
I love Lucy on my T.V!
You love Eastwood cowboy movies
Howdy doody, I love sushi!

- "I Love Your Sushi," Daphne & Celeste

Posted by Fawkes | June 12, 2007 5:09 PM
20

Is Carcass to obvious?


7. Vomited Anal Tract

Oral eruption
Rectal extroversion...

Your vagus implodes, as nausea strikes
Savaging your body in terminal retch
Violent spasms and decaying enzymes
Engulf your throat as you belch

Intestinal disturbance, your ileum turns inside-out
Your duodenum is thrust up towards your mouth
Your pancreas excretes stale septic pus
Your whole digestive system is now a sticky mush

Rectal vomit in your thorax
Retch your anal tract

Liquidized oesophagus mixes with bloodied excretion
As you pathetically gasp for breath
The stench of hot faeces scorch your nose
As you violently vomit to death

Your intestines are rising, up towards your throat
Stale bile escaping through your bloodied nose
Your colon digested into acidic slush
Your tongue gargling on your dislocated anus

[Solo: Grotesque Anal Disgorgement]

Posted by skweetis | June 12, 2007 5:17 PM
21

'Drop Dead/Celebration' by the Banshees

Posted by Kevan | June 12, 2007 5:20 PM
22

Middle Finger Response from Propagandhi's "How to Clean Everything":

This census indicates and this atlas has related
3 billion humans I haven't irritated.
I've got alot of work to do.
3 billion people, that's 3 billion snotty fuck you's
Fuck you, fuck all of you

Posted by Hank | June 12, 2007 5:23 PM
23

#17 "Run for Your Life", The Beatles
I've often said that this particular song always surprised me given the rest of the album.
I love it, but dang!

Posted by lilblackcat | June 12, 2007 5:29 PM
24

How could I forget! Finalist for most thorough rap diss track of all time, pre-movie star Ice Cube's "No Vaseline" from the Death Certificate album:

The bigger the cap, the bigger the peelin',
who gives a fuck about a punk-ass villain?
You're gettin' fucked real quick,
and Eazy's dick, is smellin' like MC Ren's shit.

Posted by Hank | June 12, 2007 5:31 PM
25

This is a cool posting-- got me thinking...

You know "It Ain't Me, Babe" is a Bob Dylan composition, yes? It never really struck me as very hateful, more just frustrated and tired of his obsessive fans. The "babe" kind of throws off the listener, makes us think it's about a woman. But Dylan did write on multiple levels, so it certainly can be looked at in multiple ways.

I like the idea of thinking of "mean songs by musicians or bands who don’t necessarily focus on writing mean songs all the time." You're right, some bands are loud and screamy and mad all the time, so the impact is not as great as an artist who is not usually that way.

The one that comes to mind for me is "Run For Your Life" by The Beatles. The last song on Rubber Soul. Opening lyric: "I’d rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man." Lifted from Elvis. It goes on: "You’d better run for your life if you can, little girl. Hide your head in the sand, little girl. Catch you with another man, that’s the end, little girl." Mean, mean, mean. Maybe not the meanest song ever, but certainly The Beatles' meanest, by far. In an interview years later, Lennon actually said he regretted writing it.

Posted by Jamey | June 12, 2007 5:49 PM
26

Speaking of Bob Dylan:
-Positively 4th Street-
You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning

You got a lotta nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that's winning

You say I let you down
You know it's not like that
If you're so hurt
Why then don't you show it

You say you lost your faith
But that's not where it's at
You had no faith to lose
And you know it

I know the reason
That you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd
You're in with

Do you take me for such a fool
To think I'd make contact
With the one who tries to hide
What he don't know to begin with

You see me on the street
You always act surprised
You say, "How are you?" "Good luck"
But you don't mean it

When you know as well as me
You'd rather see me paralyzed
Why don't you just come out once
And scream it

No, I do not feel that good
When I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief
Perhaps I'd rob them

And now I know you're dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don't you understand
It's not my problem

I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment
I could be you

Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You'd know what a drag it is
To see you


Posted by lilblackcat | June 12, 2007 6:23 PM
27


Dudes,you forget the subtle meaness of "The One I Love" by REM:

This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I left behind
A simple prop, to occupy my time,
This one goes out to the one I love.

Fire

Posted by Michael Tripe | June 12, 2007 6:39 PM
28

Elvis Costello, "You Belong To Me."

Your eyes are absent, your mouth is silent
pumping like a fire hydrant
Things you see are getting hard to swallow
You're easily led, but you're much too scared to follow.

(Elvis had a bunch of songs I'd hate to be on the receiving end of, so that might disqualify him. But nevertheless, damn.)

Posted by Garrett | June 12, 2007 6:45 PM
29

Faith No More's "The Gentle Art of Making Enemies"

The words are so familiar-
all the same greats, the same mistakes
It doesn't have to be like this

If you don't make a friend now
One might make you
So learn
The gentle art of making enemies

Don't look so surprised
Happy birthday...fucker
Blow that candle out,
We're gonna kick you, kick you

[Don't say you're not because you are]
[Don't say you're not because you are]
[History tells us that you are]
[History tells us that you are]

And all you need is just one more excuse
You put up one hell of a fight, you put up one hell of a fight
I wanna hear you very best excuse
I never felt this much alive, I never felt this much alive

Your day has finally come-
So where the hat and do the dance
And let the suit keep wearing you.

This year you'll sit and take it
And you will like it-
It's the gentle art of making enemies

I deserve a reward
Cuz I'm the best fuck that you ever had
And if I tighten up my hole-
You may never see the light again

Posted by KEN | June 12, 2007 6:54 PM
30

Chicken Pox by A Gun That Shoots Knives

The first line: "I think about you girl like each and every day. But don't be flattered cause it ain't in a good way."

Posted by Lettuce | June 13, 2007 12:40 AM
31

ministry - flashback :

i'm gonna break his legs off
i'm gonna rip his head off
i'm gonna shit down his neck
i'm gonna laugh like a motherfucker

Posted by brandon | June 13, 2007 1:06 AM
32

Nearly every line of "You Miss the Point Completely/I Get the Point Exactly" by Harvey Danger makes me go ooh, ouch! whenever I listen to it.

I always wish you'd behave more discreetly.
It's kind of puzzling, but you've fallen into place--
It's what you do best.

Posted by Christin | June 13, 2007 6:23 AM
33

Mr.Marvin Gaye. - When did I stop loving you, When did you stop loving me,

One thing I can promise, friend: I'll never be back again
But we're not really bitter babe
I promise you all the love in the world, good love in the world
But I know you'll never be satisfied just to have me by your side
Memories haunt you all the time, I will never leave, you're mine
God judged me on His side; you've said bad things and you've lied

Posted by slam | June 13, 2007 9:49 AM
34

"You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings"

Posted by shelbis | June 13, 2007 10:41 AM
35

Defnitely Idiot Wind.

Posted by Steve | June 13, 2007 12:21 PM
36

Queen Latifah's 'Name Callin'

Another bitch after my crown but I don't hate her
Cuz she couldn't come up if she was gettin' fucked in the elevator
What, you thought I wouldn't check your chin?
Though I was your fuckin' friend?
See you and speak, tonight all that shit ends
Don't act extra, where you from?
High post on low income and then some
Ready to leave your gums numb
Listenin' to you is like wack sex
A premature ejactulation
A quickie, that gets me stressed

Posted by Crinkletoes | June 13, 2007 12:26 PM
37

I don't know about mean, but my favorite angry lyric is from Pink Floyd's "The Trial," especially the way it's delivered:

You little shit, you're in it now
I hope they throw away the key
You should talked to me more often
Than you did, but no you had to
Go your own way. Have you broken any homes up lately?
"Just five minutes Worm your honour him and me alone"

Posted by Dorion | June 13, 2007 12:36 PM
38

This is the last one, I promise. I just thought of it because it came up on my iTunes and I can't believe I didn't think of it first!

Crowds- Bauhaus

For you I came to forsake
Lay wide despise and hate
I sing of you in my demented songs
For you and your stimulations
Take what you can of me
Rip what you can off me
And this I’ll say to you
And hope that it gets through
You worthless bitch
You fickle shit
You will spit on me
You will make me spit
And when the judas howl arise
And like the jesus jews you epitomize
I’ll still be here as strong as you
And I’ll walk away in spite of you
And I’ll walk away

Posted by lilblackcat | June 13, 2007 4:27 PM

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