I wanted to treat myself to a cupcake while I tied up a few loose ends that I neglected to take care of before leaving the office Friday night. Naturally, I went to Cupcake Royale because where else does one go in Seattle when they want to enjoy a delicious frosted treat? Exactly. So there I sat. It was a perfect evening in Ballard—the air was cool and smelled of the nearby saltwater, my cupcake was delicious (the Classic and the Lavender are my favorites), and a cute boy smiled at me on the bus—I was feeling good. Then, without any sort of warning, Elliott Smith came over Cupcake Royale’s loudspeaker and ruined everything.

Very few songs can hijack my emotions the way “Angeles” does. It’s achingly perfect—it’s sad, it’s beautiful, it’s romantic, it’s optimistic and triumphant but in a very broken way. Without it being personally connected to anything specific (read: no ex-boyfriends, no dead friends, no sad memories of any sort), the song still manages to kill me every time I hear it.

That opening guitar part that falls away from the rest of the intro—you know that part I’m taking about, it happens around the 33 second mark in the video posted above—that’s what initially causes my stomach to sink. Then he starts singing. I love it when Elliott Smith starts singing.

“Someone’s always coming around here, trailing some new kill/Says I’ve seen your picture on a hundred dollar bill/What’s a game of chance to you/To him is one of real skill/So glad to meet you, Angeles.”

I know it’s really just a beautiful “Fuck you” to the malicious major music industry (isn’t it?), but it still sends shivers down my spine and goosebumps up my arms in a way no other song can. So much so, I usually avoid listening to it because it’s too good to listen to. But there it was, without warning, playing over Cupcake Royale’s loudspeaker when I just wanted to read the breaking news about a girl getting her feet cut off by a roller coaster and write a column about Olympia’s upcoming What You Got? festival.

“I could make you satisfied in everything you do/All your secret wishes could right now be coming true/And be forever with my broken arms around you/No one’s gonna fool around with us/No one’s gonna fool around with us/So glad to meet you, Angeles.”

I’ve been in a weird haze ever since.