I pinch my leg and stick my head out the window.

Oh, and Van Halen's 'Diver Down.' I must have Diver Down.

dance music. makes traffic bearable too.

T Raumschmiere & a 24 ounce Rock Star. That'll do it.

Red Bull and the entire QOTSA catalog does nicely. Also, setting the radio between stations and focusing on the moog-like noises that can happen there has often been the only lifeline to awake-ness at 2-5 a.m. It sounds strange (literally) but when you're in week 5 of a 2 month tour, driving between Calgary and Winnipeg at 2 a.m., and totally fucked in the head, it really works.

Guarana:

"is a shrub or small tree in the Sapindaceae family, native to Venezuela and northern Brazil. The seed of the Guaraná fruit is a central nervous system stimulant with thermogenic and diuretic properties.

Guaraná plays an important role in Tupi and Guaraní Brazilian culture.

The name 'guaraná' is derived from the Tupi-Guarani word wara'ná. These tribes believed it to be magical, a cure for bowel complaints and a way to regain strength. They also tell the myth of a 'Divine Child' that was killed by a serpent and whose eyes gave birth to this plant."

crack...

A magical cure for bowel complaints? Man, my grandad could have used some of that shit.

cigarettes and talk radio

Windows down.
Crank the radio in "scan" mode and don't stop it.
A new station every few seconds at top volume does the trick.
Drink water.

good ol' fashioned coffee still works for me. and some louder, high energy music helps too.. made the mistake of putting on some dreamy stereolab album while taking a dark highway through alabama. and i suppose the fear of hitting deer kept us awake through that drive.

Really, it's best to avoid this situation whenever possible. But I have kept myself up with a well-timed caffeinated beverage (regular old coffee or coke does the trick for me) and an ipod playlist of loud fast music cranked speaker-rattlingly loud.

But that was a solo drive, for a solo show in Portland. If you're with a band, there should absolutely be a rule that one other person besides the driver must be awake. Exploding Hearts should've taught us all that lesson.

the thing that's always works best for me is getting the drummer to drive.

Meth & coke cocktail always helps, open the windows drive fast listening to my own tragic pop tunes, drive up on sidewalks if it helps and try to avoid the paparazzi they just don't understand how hard it is too keep up the pace;-)

How about some damn Twizzlers?

Twizzlers and cola. Mountain Dew.

But then you have to pee like every 7 minutes.

Slap myself in the face til' it's red. Window down.. then if that doesn't work.. pull the fuck over... better to sleep than die...yup yup

Any liquid in large quantities will work - nothing keeps you awake and driving at top speed like constantly needing to pee. Couple that with Phil Collins' "No Jacket Required" and one could drive for days...

@12- why the drummer? cuz he works the hardest loading heavy gear, and is also mentally exhausted from using all 4 limbs to play music rather than 2 hands? you must be a guitar player.

Chocolate-covered coffee beans. Caffeine, with no liquid to exacerbate its diuretic properties (i.e. keeps you up, without having to pee every twenty miles).

@17- You must be a drummer, no one else would bat an eye at forcing him to drive, or stick up for the crazy bastard.

I have a multi-phased approach which, so far, has avoided killing me and a carload.

Drive as far as you can before the eyelids start turning to lead, at that point swing through a 7-11 to pick up some snacks and some kind of energy drink. Get back on the road and drive as far as possible while consuming the snacks but not having the drink.

Once the awakeness from the stop wears off and you start fading again start looking for a decent place to pull over. Set cell phone alarm for a 25 minute nap. Pound the drink as soon as the alarm goes off as you're pulling back onto the road.

Drive, Drive, Drive for another 3-4 hours until the sun is up and some other sucker has to drive. For some reason the quick nap combined with the alarm and stimulants reset my clock and double the distance I can make it. Just tanking up on energy drinks doesn't work for me, tricking my body with a quick sleep cycle does wonders. Using this method will usually allow me to move us 7-9 hours down the road. Not recommended for more than a week or so consecutively if you want what's left of your sanity.

Coffee and Camel Lights

I play speed metal and think about nudity.

I stick a fox and a rabbit in my ass and then let nature take its course. No way to sleep with all that crazy action going on.

Luckily for me, it's well-known to my bandmates that I am notorious for dozing off behind the wheel at night, so they just don't ask. Although I agree with #11 - there should always be one other person awake.

Snacks and cigarettes. I've never fallen asleep with food in my mouth. And Karp. Loud.

Spike Shooter.
300 miligrams of caffeine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spike_Shooter

My eyes are a sea-stained blue, containing low amounts of melanin within the iris stroma. This allows for more than the average amount light to pass through them. Driving at night can often put me into a trance as the passing headlights and reflectors penetrate my retina. I am not an energy drink drinker, they're not my bag. So the only ways for me to stay up are slapping myself on the face, fiddling with the radio, and of course -talking to myself. But even that can get boring.

Last night I drove home from a gig listening to my singer complain about bands he hates.

Art Bell works well for me. Also, attempting to sing the entire Blood Sugar Sex Magic album a cappella. And Pilot travel centers now have "intense energy" coffee. Seldom, you'll run across a fuel station that still carries Jolt Cola. That's like splitting 8's, then getting a 3, then doubling down, then getting a face card.

sunflower seeds. the unshelled kind. keeps ya busy. worse case scenario: plucking nose hairs.

Plucking, I like plucking. Haven't thought of that one yet.

I was going to say caffeine, but this post has given me new tactics.

I will never be sleepy again.

Trent,
Sorry I am blog behind. This article is dangerous and should immediatly be placed in underground status. But what I really want to know is how did they get cocaine in coke at first and how the hell do you get a fox up your ass?The rabbit I understand.
Tante

what a load of rubbish!