A couple weeks ago, a friend and I spotted this grafitti on a U-District bus stop.

I liked it because because (as one mind-reading commenter pointed out when I posted the photo on Slog later) “No Escape From Planet Motherfucker” sounds like something I’d name my autobiography should I ever decide to write an autobiography (you never know, maybe I’ll get caught up in some juicy scandal and all of the sudden become interesting enought to pen a book).

What I didn’t know at the time of discovering the “art” was that the words were probably a reference to a White Zombie song. And how would I know that? I don’t listen to White Zombie. The song is called “Welcome to Planet Motherfucker,” and according to lyricsfreak.com, it goes like this:

Planet pretty kill, motherfucker hang me on the thrills yeah!
No small heaven [haven] I got the left hand of the keeper
Meet me in St. Louis, ‘God’, a one way ticket’s cheaper yeah!
Time-travel I’m walk’n [walk’n]
I got a white line zombie fever [fever] yeah!
Time bomb the hero [hero] yeah get down!!!

I found the song on YouTube. I’m so not into it.

“There has to be better songs out there that make good use of the word motherfucker,” I thought to myself. And as I tend to do, I became obsessed and couldn’t stop thinking about it.

The first song that came to mind is one of my favorites, “Dragon Ships” by the Fruit Bats.

I’m gonna go, this time I know
This city’s got me feeling like a motherfucker.
This one is it, after I quit,
I can’t write a love song worth shit!

I have no idea what it means, but I love the way Eric Johnson says motherfucker with the perfect amount of stress on the uck, and the er becoming more of an ah sound.

And there’s of course the infamous line, “Let the motherfucker burn!” that has been used in a number of songs in a number of ways… The Bloodhound Gang, 50 Cent, Nelly, it’s been around.

After some searching and some asking, I learned that both the Queers and the Eels have songs called “Motherfucker.” The Queers take it literally and sing about having sex with someone’s mom, while the Eels expound on the frustration of being alone (“It’s a motherfucker/Being here without you/Thinking ‘bout the good times/Thinking ‘bout the bad”).

A lot of rap and metal songs use the word, but I’m looking for more than just a one-liner or a quick mention. I want the word to be prominent, I want it to be the star of the song.

Nashville Pussy does “Go, Motherfucker, Go!” which always makes me think of Speed Racer more than anything, and I’m not sure how it slipped my mind at first, but Superchunk has that great song “Slack Motherfucker.”

See?

What else is there? I only want the good shit. I’m ignoring Kid Rock on purpose.