??!! The Most Imortant Question You Will Ever Be Asked
posted by July 5 at 12:05 PMon
Yesterday, during a conversation about music, really bad music, a couple friends and I discovered what is perhaps the most important question I’ve ever thought about in my entire life:
Who’s worse? Red Hot Chili Peppers or Celine Dion?
I say the Red Hot Chili Peppers are. The other two both agreed that Celine Dion is. I’m right, they’re wrong, so we continued to argue the point. They claimed that Celine Dion is and has always been intolerable while the Chili Peppers had at least a few shining moments. I claimed, though, that those shining moments have long since been eclipsed by their current state of suckage, and are therefore not enough to keep them out of “complete bullshit” territory. Even worse, they’re unable to accept where they currently stand (frat rock for drunken date rapists), while Miss Dion knows she is literally a Vegas sideshow. And even if you’re not into the Titanic-theme-song-singing French Canadian, you can’t say without sounding like a complete noob that she’s got a powerful voice—lady can belt it out.
Yeah, Flea can play bass, and yeah, he was in Back to the Future, and that Will Ferrell looking drummer has some talent, but the band as a whole play watered down funk and vapid ballads about Los Angeles. That’s way more offensive than carrying on about a heart that will go on.
Turns out, pondering this argument is how I spent the majority of my Fourth. I really need to learn to let things go. We moved the debate down to Kings Hardware for lunch. The majority of the staff voted with me, agreeing Red Hot Chili Peppers are worse. They’re smart and they have really good sweet potato fries. We text messaged all our friends, asking them the same question. Everyone had an opinion, and it ended up being split down the middle, mostly, with the Red Hot Chili Peppers losing their lead after a whopping 10 votes came in en masse from a BBQ in West Seattle.
Also, I should note, we were completely aware of how lame this was.
But I’m unable to shake it. And this is the new question I gauge people by.
So I wanna know…
Who do you think is worse? Celine Dion? Or the Red Hot Chili Peppers?