Media “Derivative of Pavement”
posted by on September 10 at 10:55 AM
Zing! Pitchfork Gives Music 6.8 (The Onion):
According to the review, authored by Pitchfork editor in chief Ryan Schreiber, the popular medium that predates the written word shows promise but nonetheless “leaves the listener wanting more.”“Music’s first offering, an eclectic, disparate, but mostly functional compendium of influences from 5000 B.C. to present day, hints that this trend’s time may not only have fully arrived, but is already on the wane,” Schreiber wrote. “If music has any chance of keeping our interest, it’s going to have to move beyond the same palatable but predictable notes, meters, melodies, tonalities, atonalities, timbres, and harmonies.”
Schreiber’s semi-favorable review, which begins in earnest after a six-paragraph preamble comprising a long list of baroquely rendered, seemingly unrelated anecdotes peppered with obscure references, summarizes music as a “solid but uninspired effort.”
(Hat tip to Brooklyn Vegan)
Surreal. Although I rarely see Ryan writing reviews anymore. Last thing I remember was this:
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/download/43576-sissy-boy-slap-party-various-songs
(Gratuitous on MY part now, too.)
This sounds like something The Stranger would do. I can't believe Pitchfork beat you to it!
P.S. Does anyone have the link to the actual Pitchfork review of Music?
Love the last bit:
"Still, most analysts agreed that the impact of Pitchfork's scathing review of music will be dampened by the 2.4 rating it received from Pitchfork staff writer Dave Maher just moments after the initial critique was published online. Maher termed Schreiber's assessment of music "overwrought, masturbatory posturing intended to make insecure hipsters feel as if they're part of some imagined elite beau monde."
The Onion is brilliant. Now if only Pitchfork would take the hint.
Scottie, it's from The Onion. It's a joke. Pitchfork did not review Music.
I knew there was a joke in there somewhere! haha Got a little confused there.... Boy, am I red in the face.....
6.8 is pretty generous actually!
6.8 = Not as good as Get Him Eat Him.
Derivative. Yo.
Now if only Pitchfork would, for real, review The Onion!
that is the most brilliant piece the onion has ever done.
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