Right now I feel like all the cell phone towers blew up and there will be no way to get a hold of anyone I care about ever again. There is an overwhelming sense that I have been abandoned, like I am isolated from the world I loved and cherished and my lifeline will never be re-established. I know there was a time before Oink, but it seems so hazy and distant, “the long-long ago” that now seems like such an implausible reality.

My friend Kellen came over last night with a new record from a Virginia band called the Catalyst, a bunch of teenagers making really great hardcore. I was impressed, and I wanted to have it immediately, and then it struck me like a flaming arrow: I couldn’t. I couldn’t just hop on my computer and download it instantly. Sure, bigger torrent sites have bigger bands, but this was obscure indie rock that only Oink was sure to have. I liked the EP enough that I’ll probably buy it myself when I get the chance, but until then I want to listen to it, and now I can’t. It’s fucking devastating.

The real frustrating part is that I’m not sure if there will ever be a site quite like Oink ever again. Since it was invite only all the bullshit worry of low quality rips and getting a virus were nil, and the gratification was instant. Albums downloaded in literally a minute; the world’s catalogue of music was at my immediate disposal. And for those of us with a conscience, the system was truly “try before you buy.” I like owning records, and I like supporting good bands. I don’t like buying an album blind and having it be bullshit. Oink was downloading for connoisseurs, for people with discernable, under the radar tastes. Unfortunately, it was also the source of most of the major label leaks, popping up on Oink first before working their way to the other major peer-to-peer sites, and that’s what got them busted. Now that Oink’s gone, if I want to a popular release I can just grab it off of Mininova or something and it will probably be fine. But if I want to hear what some teenagers from Virginia are doing I’m shit out of luck. And there is a dark hole in my guts because of it.

So I am in mourning, as are most of my friends. I am well aware of the virtues of patience, and I condemn most aspects of a fast-food society. But damn it, I liked getting my obscure bands the instant I wanted them. Until I get that back, I fear my now oppressively slow intake of new music may send me into the depths.