Media Blender Names Worst Lyricists in Rock Music
posted by October 19 at 10:25 AMon
Blender has named who they think are the worst lyricists in rock music. Of course all dudes wrote up the list, and it’s Blender, so it’s not surprising that I have a few issues with it (Ben Gibbard, really?), but some on the list aren’t surprising at all. In fact, I wholeheartedly agree with them being included:
#40 - Anthony Kedis
If Jim Morrison had done yoga and strutted onstage with a sock on his dick, he’d have been the Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman.
#24 - Fred Durst
Worst lyric: “Bullies always putting me down/Just a little skater boy they could pick on/I learned to forgive ’em/Now I got the balls they can lick on” (“Lonely World”)
#21 - Alanis Morissette
Alanis nearly surpassed Bono as rock’s reigning inspiration for high school yearbook quotations when her 1995 album Jagged Little Pill sold 17 million copies. Sadly, the cigarette-flicking free spirit didn’t offer a very good example to students. She didn’t bother to look up ironic, pronounced theater “thea-tah” and spewed ontological nonsense like “I don’t want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine.”
Scott Stapp, Paul Stanley (THANK GOD!), and the dude from Panic! at the Disco get a shout out too.
As for who made the list at all, let alone much higher on the list than they should be?
Ben Gibbard at #16? Newer stuff, yes I suppose there’s some truth in that, but dude’s also penned some fantastic lines in his songwriting history. Then again, I’m a chick, so I suppose I’m just a sucker for a guy “who’s sensitive, wears glasses, likes long conversations, winter, standing by himself at weddings and disregarding his ex-girlfriends’ restraining orders.”
And Bernie Taupin? I suppose he has written some stinkers, but he’s written some gems too.
But no Avril Lavigne? Oh wait, she probably doesn’t write her own lyrics… No Coheed & Cambria either? Or My Chemical Romance? Or is the line “I’m not O-FUCKING-KAY!” acceptable?
My main beef is, though, that Greg Gaffin is listed as a worse lyricist than Kevin Federline. ANYONE being listed as worse than Kevin Federline is blaspheme. But as a friend just pointed out, “What’s surprising is that anyone actually considers Kevin Federline a lyricist.” Touché.
No spoilers here. If you wanna know how they named the Worst Lyricist Ever, click here.
(Also, Dashboard Confessional made the list, which I couldn’t agree with more. In fact, I take his lyrics to task in this week’s Underage. Click here to play the Can You Spot the Bad Dashboard Lyrics? Game!)