So you might think I was asked to be part of this very special group today because I actually know what the hell I’m talking about when it comes to music.I am here to dispel that illusion. Don’t get me wrong: I listen to a lot of music, and I like to think I have pretty good musical taste (who doesn’t?). I have pretty broad taste, too—ranging from classic rock to folk to punk rock, electronica, jazz, what have you. My current active listening pool might be relatively limited at any given time (right now mostly just going back and forth between Iron and Wine and Jose Gonzalez), but overall, I’m into all sorts of stuff.

Except here’s the thing: There are some very basic, I daresay seminal (though that word is rather overused and somewhat icky, if you think about it) bands that I’ve just never really listened to. I don’t know why; I know they’re all important and ground-breaking and influential and what have you. I know they’re probably great, and I might find a new favorite album. I know I could go the Library right now and pick up their albums for free, bring them home, and finally get what I’ve been missing. I just haven’t gotten around to it.

So, without further ado, here are a few highlights from my List of Shame:

OK, we’ve all heard that “Bang a Gong” song, so that doesn’t even count. That song is so burned into our culture that it can’t really tell me anything about Marc Bolan as a songwriter or artist or anything, anymore than “Rock and Roll Pt. 2” tells us anything about Gary Glitter (admit it, you hear it and you’re in a sports stadium). But I don’t really think I’ve listened to anything else by this man that Allmusic calls “the primary force in glam rock.” What about his album, Electric Warrior, the album that “essentially kick-started the U.K. glam-rock craze”? I’ve seen that cover around a ton, but never bothered to listen. I’ll get to it one of these days, I swear.

“One of the most mythic and influential cult acts in all of rock & roll.” That pretty much sums it up, don’t it? I mean, is any band (aside from maybe the Beatles and Beach Boys) name-checked more by cooler bands than Chilton and co.? And yet, I swear, I don’t think I’ve ever sat down and listened to them. Maybe heard a song or two on KEXP, but that’s about it. How am I even allowed to play in a band if I haven’t listened to Big Star? Somebody revoke my license.

I’m pretty sure the first I ever heard of Love was Billy Bragg’s cover of “Seven and Seven Is” on Elektra’s 40th anniversary Rubaiyat compilation of 1990, which featured two discs (or cassettes, which was the format I had it in) of then-current Elektra bands covering older Elektra bands. (The Cure covering the Doors, Kronos Quartet covering Television, the Sugarcubes covering… Sailcat? Huh. OK.) I loved the song, and even then, 17 years ago, I totally meant to get into this band Love. I think I probably checked out the original version of “Seven and Seven Is,” but that’s about it. By the time Arthur Lee died last year, I still hadn’t ever sat down with one of their albums. Yes, I suck.

For our last band (I’m sure not the last band that I haven’t listened to that I should have, but the last for today), we go back to the glam, only stateside. I am of that age where my first exposure to David Johansen was via his Buster Poindexter persona—specifically, that sad marker in American culture, the song “Hot Hot Hot” (which the world of television marketing will never allow us to forget, due to the excitement of the word “hot”—particularly good for new summer fashions). I admit, I liked the song (c’mon, I was 11!), but have no need ever to hear it again. But that’s neither here nor there, and not the reason I’ve never taken the time to sit and listen to Johansen’s real contribution to our canon, the band that “created punk rock before there was even a term for it.” From their 1973 debut through their recent reformation, which spawned One Day it Will Please Us to Remember Even This, the Dolls are lauded critically far and wide. They, like all these artists mentioned, have also been cited as an influence time and time again, probably by bands that I love. I have even gone so far as to take a couple of their albums out of the library, and I still have not listened to them. So I guess the whole purpose of this post is to ask: What the hell is wrong with me?

Any ideas?