As for what to call the ladies of the biz, I don't know, but I'm not a fan of either "sound man" or "sound guy." The latter just sounds like it's someone you dug up at the last minute, whereas "sound man" is too formal. Anyone who calls themselves a "sound engineer" or "audio technician" is a pompous jerk. I'd rather be known as a the Blue Moon's booker, but since nobody else will do the daily grind, just call me the knob jockey. Or the GQ of the EQ. Whatever.

Sometimes if a band is just way too loud, I will get the monitors as loud as they will go and if it isn't enough, I will ask the band to turn down, if they don't I show them that they are at the level of the monitors feeding back by a quick sonic zap (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee). Then usually they shut down until during the middle of the set, then I fake it.

Another trick is to take some of whatever else they have in the monitors and turn it down, just a little to balance out.

Most of the time if the club has a good monitor system, I can just keep turning it up until their ears bleed.

If a singer is not close enough to the mic I always try chaining them to the stand, that way they can't get too far away.

If they sing too quiet, turn off the monitors. these singers are just too timid, they are afraid of their own voice. Thats why the guitars are too loud in those bands, too cover up the intensely personal lyrics that the singer wants/doesn't want his (ex) girlfriend, lover ,or mortal enemy (boss) to hear.

Also the audience is talking too loud to hear the whispering onstage, so I didn't notice when they asked for more vocals.

As far as the question of gender, sound engineer always works, Yet people always seem to address me as, "hey can you hear the vocals" or "Asshole, my (insert: boyfriend, girlfriend, son,or daughter) is singing and I can't hear the vocals, please turn it up". When they get my name wrong like that, I tend to go to my happy place.

as for the "phantom knob twist"--rarely, if ever. the most common scenario is when asked for something, i will start moving my hand toward the correct knob (you've seen it-there's millions of knobs there) and BEFORE I CAN ACTUALLY TOUCH IT AND DO ANYTHING they say "yeah, that's great." the placebo effect is a well documented thing and the most important thing about sound is not what you actually hear, but what you THINK you hear.

i personally prefer audio engineer because it's gender neutral and i don't think it's pompous to say that after 20+ years of running sound EVERY DAY --not just sometimes, not just on weekends--that i'm a professional.

His whole thing about squeaking the monitors deliberately was basically a joke on the fact that he generally has the monitors as loud as they'll go without feeding back already. If the band won't adjust its stage volume and the singer keeps asking for more, and is pulling some shit where he's trying to call the audience's attention to the sound op in order to place blame on him for the band's fuck-up (this does happen), he will sometimes deliberately squeak them just and then shrug his shoulders to show them that it won't go any higher. But only in the monitors. Never in the mains.

I'm not saying all sound ops do this though. But it's always true you get better sound if you treat whoever's behind the board right.

If anyone wants to laugh today... I've been thinking outside the box a 'lil (being sunny and all), try replacing "sound" with "sex", "band" with "slut", "singer" with "porn star" in all of the above comments. JJ comes off as a pimp, it's great.. He can be my Fader Invader any day, rawr!

hey, it's better than reading another SFJ headache, and it's about time lustlab mixed with slog.. A Stranger Mash-up. what? WWOOooo00OWW.