Ewwwww, MARY. I love this bit. If not for the very tenuous, gossipy tale woven, then for this bulldagger’s dialect and phonation; it’s ridiculously specific. She doesn’t pronounce it “Remy,” with a rhotic R—but like, Nwemy or Ngwemy. My friend insists it’s [!]emy, but I think that’s really pushing it.

Oh, do you even know who Remy Ma is? I know everyone’s all up in Th’ Program right now. I just don’t see that house; no shade.

And just so you know, Remy denied the rumor two days later, via my personal favorite PR tactic—the Official Statement:

“The fraudulent video hoax that has surfaced of an alleged female lover of Remy Ma is completely false and reps for Remy Ma emphatically deny these claims. The staged video and storyline, as well as the voice on the phone posing as Remy are all fictitious and have made it very obvious that this is a deliberate attempt to undermine Remy’s name and character. Remy Ma has not nor has she ever been involved in a same sex relationship with the accuser or any other woman however Remy is respectful of those who choose the alternative lifestyle. Again, this video and claim are both 100% untrue and we hope that the involved accusers are aware of the civil liberties violated in the taping of this video.”

Actually the video and storyline—while they may be fictional—are not “fictitious”; I mean, you and I both just witnessed them actually happening, right? This statement is meaningless, useless, and boring.

Have a blessed-ass day.