Westernized Satan – Full of Shiite: The New Red Scare.

Iranians don’t smoke crack. They smoke a hash-crack brick that’s been sprinkled with shavings of petrified Algorzian mountain-goat scrotum. It’s called safar bekheir. Supposedly, it’s off the chain. (See Miles Davis circa Live Evil.) The scrotum has a psilocybic effect that can cause sustained paranoid hallucinations. In Iran, it causes men in power to gather and make laws against music and women and accuse revelers of being Satanic.

Since 1979, rock groups in Iran haven’t been able to legally perform unless they’ve obtained a license from the Ministry of Culture. Yesterday, Molly (BBC) reported, it’s not looking good for rap in Iran either. However, this has not prevented underground rock and rap parties from happening.

This past August in Tehran, one such underground party took place. It was not the Belmont. This party was in the Mohammadshahr district of Karaj and 230 people were arrested. Large quantities of recording equipment, alcohol, bootleg CDs, revealing female clothing, and drugs were confiscated.

“The Satan worshipers will be punished,” an Iranian prosecutor declared.

Iran seems to be in the middle of a moral psychosis. Women must cover their heads and bodies and the consumption of alcohol and mixed-sex parties are strictly illegal. Police have also been targeting men whose clothing is deemed “Satanic” or overly Westernized.

“Most of the people at the Karaj rock party were young and unaware of the satanic nature of the concert,” said the prosecutor. He said concert organizers told young people to attend if they were eager to learn how “devil worshippers” perform music.

I say now to the Ministry of Culture, you are high. You are so high, you’ve missed a couple, right under your noses. Two of Iran’s beloved singers. Look at the staches on these guys and tell me they aren’t Satanic.

Exhibit 1 – Toofan. Is he Shuggie Otis? (Toofan video here) :

Exhibit 2 – the great Farhad (video here) :

Toofan and Farhad’s Satanic staches go uncensored but the boys and girls dancing at a party get thrown in jail and labeled devil worshippers.

One of the harshest rulings in Iran has been the ban against women from producing musical works or performing as solo singers. Some have found a way around it by singing the melody without the lyrics. Also, the National Television of the Islamic regime does not show the image of an instrument and if they broadcast music, only the face of the musician is presented.

In late 1996, following a Fatwa by Ayatollah Khamenei stating that music education corrupts the minds of young children, many music schools were closed and music instruction to children under the age of 16 was banned by public establishments. Every piece of music written has to be checked out by the government before it’s recorded. The government regulates the lyrics as well as musical content.

And it’s regulation like that, that ensures the Iranian Ministry of Culture their place in This Week in Crack. I want no more war, I want no more invasions. But can’t we at least do something to help the music over there? People need music like it’s air.

I would think that the Ministry or the religious censor, the Ershad would realize that by making the music illegal, they are only making the kids want it even more. The more they attempt to repress it, the more people are going to want it. It’s the laws of psychology and youth. And those laws say that the kids need Ice Cube. But the government is on goat crack and in denial.

Here is a trailer for a 2006 documentary called Sounds of Silence about underground music in Tehran. The film shows that despite the ban, Iran does have a music scene:

* AP was sourced and news.sawf.org.

* Beyond the Veil: Introduction to Persian Traditional Music by Shahrokh Yadegari also.