eric, youve never been wronger about anything. i will elaborate on why--though it seems obvs--in my review later.

a few bullet points:

--you know what? fuck fun!
--if youre 30 youre old! if youre 50 youre dead!
--van halen writes songs that will be headbanged to for eternity
--DLR is waaay funnier than dane cook or that former yuppie cable guy.
--"conceptual heft?" man. sometimes all thats required for conceptual heft are the aforementioned perfectly written and performed songs.

come on, eric. i can see your overinflated cred from here!

speaking of masturbatory soloing and overt proficiency... how is Battles any different?

One more reason why I have no respect for the strangers music reviews....do rush also suck eric?

Sometimes music is just fun. Van Halen have NEVER tried to be anything more, so why hold them up to the same high standard as such an important act like Girl Talk?

Dude...If you're 30, you ARE old! Or at least, you're not YOUNG!

Also, if you like noodly guitar solos, why don't you just listen to jazz?

I agree with you, Eric. There is absolutely no reason to ever see Van Halen. Led Zeppelin, on the other hand. . .

"speaking of masturbatory soloing and overt proficiency... how is Battles any different?"

i like their shit, but the truth is the truth. math rock is a circle jerk with flacid penises.

what if you like Van Halen? that seems like a good reason to go see them.

I'd rather go see the Spice Girls.

And your wannabe haircut makes it painfully obvious.

The criticism of VH in this post might have been merited if Eddie and co. were trying for "conceptual heft". But they're not, so why even write this? To prove you're too cool for Van Halen? Really?

agism: a lose/lose situation.

Au contraire, EG. If you can't see the conceptual heft of a confetti explosion, a captain's hat and a giant inflatable microphone... Well lets just say your soul is an empty, empty place.

...so why even write this? To prove you're too cool for Van Halen? Really?

There was a time when the Stranger was too cool for Van Halen.

Yeah, what Zwickel said. The Dane Cook comparison is so off base it's painful--just ask that guy named Dave Schmader sitting next to you.

"...but the truth is the truth. math rock is a circle jerk with flacid penises"

Ha. So, so true. Sad, sure, but true.

Ahhhh, finger tapping...

Also, I forgot to mention this or assumed it went without saying, but...

If there was ever a time to give a shit about Van Halen, it's not in 2007.

Is Kathleen Wilson back at the helm? There was a time and place to appreciate Van Halen? Agesim? Technical proficiency at ones instrument = bad?? $1 says The National outlast, say, twelve complete turnovers in The Stranger music editorial staff.

now the stranger is too cool for nothing. or someting.

you need to listen to Fair Warning while driving a van...pretty much the best thing in the entire world

so how was the show? any of you go? Jonathan? last show i paid anything close to $100 for was uh...shit, i guess that would be never

Fair Warning fucking rules though!

Perhaps if JZ had written about the show in advance, they could have shut it down like Atlas.

Whoever said driving a van while listening to Van Halen is right. Or a Subaru.

As much as I try to not like VH and understand all these arguments, I can't help but like the song, "Unchained" off Fair Warning, I think.

I know there's the part about "You'll get some leg tonight for sure..." and I don't really like that part, but I can't help but like the song. It makes me want to get out of the car and do a split.

Could the love of Van Halen be a regional thing as well? As in them personifying the sexual and friendly beach party vibe of 80's LA arena rock?

Take the Allman Brothers for example. There are people in the South who will love them and go see them no matter how bad the music is at times. They are devoted fans. It's a pride - ownership thing. Like "them boys is my boys, and them boys done good."

oops! i hadnt scrolled down and saw the review of the show with all the pictures durp! DLR totally looks like Neil Diamond, Neil Diamond Dave!

Even the most jaded hipster would have to acknowledge the cultural contributions of Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll, and Van Halen couldn't be more of a textbook example of those tenets.

I feel sad for the whippersnappers who only have appreciation for the more meager idealogical offerings of Irony, Snobbiness and Sampling.

the dust brothers freaked the shit out of van halen samples and they are like twice as old as i am. whippersnappers!

@3

Ha! Ahahahah! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Dude, you watch Tila Tequila and you're complaining about cultural contribution?

Ok, well, sure by the standards of reality tv, Van Halen are awesome.

This is why rock criticism is so often so very silly. If you like Van Halen, then Van Halen is good music. If you don't like 'em, why not listen to something else? It' ain't fucking brain surgery.

Pretending rock and roll is about "conceptual heft" is hilarious. To me Van Halen is good, honest dumb-as-hell cock-rock. Eddie is one of the only wheedly-wheedly guitar players I've ever heard who has an impeccable sense of rhythm and taste. He can melt your face off with his licks, but he doesn't just spoo all over everything like most finger-tappers. The songs are about girls, and cars, and girls in cars, and driving cars fast, and fast girls, and running with the devil and stuff. Standard issue rock topics.

But, that's just my completely stupid opinion. Again, see above: Listen to music you like. Ignore music you don't. Never try to talk someone out of music that they really enjoy because doing so is futile and kind of obnoxious. Rinse. Repeat.

Van Halen is for pussies. Pantera! PANTERA!!!

Thank you Mr. Grandy, for so eloquently expanding on my comment in that other thread. Fucking dumb Vegas act is right.

Exactly, flamingbanjo. I just happen to like my rock music a little less stupid.

Thanks for the inspiration, rk.

@#3

Yes. Yes they do.

What flamingbanjo @ 27 (Jesus, @27??!!) said.

Plus, you get off easy posting this from all the way over on the west coast, Grandy. You'd get flayed and pelted if you took this line within a 3-state radius of New England.

EG: Yeah, for myself it was finally a matter of being forced to admit that I couldn't come up with any good reason why the Ramones were cool for being dumb, but Van Halen was somehow just dumb for being dumb, even though this is what every rock critic in the world seemed to think at one point in time.

Which is to say, I'm not all that familiar with the Spice Girls' oeuvre. They write a lot of songs about international politics?

Well, essentially Spice World is a concept album about an international Fourierist utopia.

Also, I couldn't tell you when was the last time I actually listened to the Ramones.

You say you like your rock music less, "stupid." I would be interested in hearing about this so called rock music that isn't "stupid." Which rock music is that? I thought that was a big part of the whole deal. Explain.

I write about rock music that isn't stupid all the time, benski.

Hey, there's davej, and that's me, so who the fuck are you?

Note to self, call me, let's re-open Sugar as Le Comette, we'll have bands and food from Presse.

Eric,

Methinks your personal issues are getting in the way of a fair review. The question is, did Van Halen deliver at Key, based on what they were most famous for? (How would you know since you didn't go to the show?) And, regardless of whether you like them, did Van Halen in their heyday make music that made a difference?

Let's see what AllMusic.com says:

"With their 1978 eponymous debut, Van Halen simultaneously rewrote the rules of rock guitar and hard rock in general. Guitarist Eddie Van Halen redefined what electric guitar could do, developing a blindingly fast technique with a variety of self-taught two-handed tapping, hammer-ons, pull-offs, and effects that mimicked the sounds of machines and animals. It was wildly inventive and over the top, equaled only by vocalist David Lee Roth, who brought the role of a metal singer to near-performance art standards. Roth wasn't blessed with great technique, unlike Eddie, but he had a flair for showmanship that was derived as much from lounge performers as Robert Plant..."

So you stand by your statement that Van Halen is: "...totally bereft of conceptual heft (sorry, I just mean to say) fucking dumb?" OK, I'm no fan of the Van Hagar days, but I think it's fair to say VH were pretty inventive and conceptual for their genre back in '78.

And not all reunion acts suck, by the way. I've seen killer shows by some and lame shows by others, so why assume they're the latter when you didn't even go to the show?

Lame post, man. Really lame.

Could the Stranger be any less rock? I mean really?

Wow.

Van Halen is so much more dumb than getting high and listening to dance music for 8 hours straight.

hey mr. x, just wait for our big captain & tennille issue coming out over christmas! its gonna be less-rocktastic!

aloha everyone...

arguing about whether Van Halen's cool =

pointless sparring between dudes and non-dudes

dudes respect Halen

non-dudes don't

simple as that

p.s. - and if you don't respect Jethro Tull, you might be a gay dude. jus' sayin'... kinda like that guy who came up with the "you might be a redneck if..." stuff. don't anyone go gittin' their skivvies all up in a bunch, ok?

:-)

Eric, you sound like a typical hipster, passive aggressive type that listens to nothing else but what is currently the flavor of the month in the indie world.

You obviously are not a musician and therefore cannot appreciate what Van Halen brings to the table. Why speak of a topic you are completely ignorant about?

Van Halen came out during a time when artists actually cared about learning their craft and inspired countless youngsters to pick up and learn an instrument. This band is about the music and yes it is about having fun as well.
What's wrong with that?!?

So stick to your Spice Girls and whiny emo music you schmuck!