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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

You Talk Too Much

posted by on December 11 at 10:16 AM

mouth2.jpgAnd you never shut up.

When someone in the crowd talks throughout a show that you have gone to see, does it bother you?

Wait, a rephrase -

When you are at a show and the volume of someone’s talking competes with the band or artist playing, does that bother you?

Deep within the Unwritten Bylaws of Show-Going it is said:

When the volume level of your conversation competes with the volume level of the band or artist playing, your conversation should either a) move to another room or b) move to another room.

On the next page, under ‘Etiquette’, subtitle ‘Protocol’ it says:

If a band or artist is performing, and persons standing in the row behind you can hear you talking to your friend about texting another friend, and you are as loud as the band, then thou should shut your ass up.

Ejection chutes have been installed in some of Seattle’s venues to reprimand violators as part of a pilot program. If and when volumes of conversation reach ‘nuisance decibel level’, trapdoors will open below those involved and they will slide down a pathway of tubes until they are deposited safely into a dimpsty-dumpster full of packing peanuts outside the back of the venue.

Violators are free to re-enter the venue, but they will be required to wear one of these Pilot Program Silencer Muzzles:

muzzle.jpg

RSS icon Comments

1

Trent- eat a dick. you are one to talk about talking. you followed those idiots in natchos with your camera interutpting real shows with their jealous attemps at laughs. screw you bitch. build a trapdoor for your self. i am going to come to your shows and talk the whole time. and i will have a great time at it- jerk.

Posted by angry consumer | December 11, 2007 10:21 AM
2

i would like to add that people singing along to a band should shut the fuck up. i'm not paying to hear you sing, this isn't your car during rush hour, and it's not okay even if other people are doing it. singing along with a band is like going to a movie and reciting the lines aloud while others are trying to watch it. stop being a prick because you think your fandom entitles you to it.

Posted by cosby | December 11, 2007 10:40 AM
3

not a hard and fast rule, cosby. there are plenty of concert moments that warrant singalongs. you know them when they happen, and you ought to be singing along when they do.

Posted by jz | December 11, 2007 10:52 AM
4

Angry consumer, that's 'Nachos.'

The night I followed the Nachos, no show was interrupted. Not a second of the show that night was competed with. They did their thing in the café part of the Croc. It was amazing. Many people laughed and wanted more. A girl asked if they could play at her birthday party. As for other Nachos performances, I don’t know, I haven't filmed those.

Angry consumer, I’m sensing some real deep negativity with you. I suggest meditation. Tranquil meditation. Sit under a heat lamp, get a rain forest sounds cd, and think about warm sand and the sound of waves.

Smile, Angry Consumer. I love you. Let’s hold hands and show others we can overcome.

Posted by trent moorman | December 11, 2007 10:52 AM
5

I agree, Trent. You know what I really love? When I'm watching a completely amazing band at the top of their game at a terrific venue - say, Califone at the Tractor - and some chick is standing five feet from the stage, facing away from it, hollering at her boyfriend (not in an angry way, just in an "I'm-at-a-rockshow" way) the whole time.

Yeah, that's so great.

Posted by Levislade | December 11, 2007 11:08 AM
6

If it really bothers me, I move to another part of the room, but honestly I hate live shows so this is rarely an issue.

Posted by Jason Josephes | December 11, 2007 11:16 AM
7

I don't know, Cosby. I always thought if people were singing along, that was kind of the point. They are there and they are taking part. Sure, there are moments where maybe they should let the singer have the floor. I guess if they are way too ripped and are way too loud and it takes away from the show, I see your point. But if people know the words and the songs, I think they should be able to partake in singing along.

Posted by trent moorman | December 11, 2007 11:17 AM
8

I want a muzzle. Do you think it will fit over my gimp ball?

I think it would be more effective to put headphones on the heads of violators that play multiple sine and triangle wave modulating between 9.5 khz and 11 khz. That is until they explode.

Posted by drheavy | December 11, 2007 11:18 AM
9

Where does talking obnoxiously loud about a) how nice the band was when you talked to them last time they were in town, b)What venues you've been to and the endless list of bands you've seen there, c) How good of a show the band you are currently seeing puts on and "last time i saw them" the singer did (insert action here), d) how much you know about all of your favorite bands (common methods of this include saying every members name, and what other bands they are friends with), fit in?

Posted by DLinn | December 11, 2007 11:26 AM
10

If you are at an intimate acoustic performance then you should be respectful and shut the hell up.

If we'e talking about a rock show, then by all means get sweaty, dance around and make some noise. Most bands feed off that kind of audience.

Posted by Jeff | December 11, 2007 11:35 AM
11

maybe it has always been like this, but when did going to a concert become a campfire singalong? i cannot think of one conert, recorded or one i've witnessed first hand, that has been elevated by people fulfilling their rock star dreams vicariously.

Posted by cosby | December 11, 2007 11:36 AM
12

The only people who get upset about audience members singing along, are people who: A)don' know the lyrics or B)can't sing! or C)both...

Posted by Fill | December 11, 2007 11:38 AM
13

there are moments. two gallants sings "nothing to you" and the whole crowd sings along to the chorus--thats spine-tingle material. primus plays "tommy the cat" and everyone sings along the "hey baby" part--thats collective hilarity. etc.

Posted by jz | December 11, 2007 11:38 AM
14

@13:
Hey! I was at that show too...

Cosby, where'd you go??????????

Posted by Fill | December 11, 2007 11:41 AM
15

Temple of the Dog - "Hunger Strike."

I'm going hungreeeeeeeeeeh.

I don't mind stealin bread, from the mowthsss of decadeeeeeeence.

Posted by trent moorman | December 11, 2007 11:46 AM
16

Damnit, I didn't ever go to a Temple of the Dog show. So maybe I can't say that song. I've heard versions, though, where the crowd does Cornell's part.

Posted by trent moorman | December 11, 2007 11:49 AM
17

@16:
Dude! You didn't go to any Temple of the Dog shows because there weren't any! At least not here in Sea-Town.

I imagine you heard Pearl Jam's "LIVE" version of "Hunger Strike."

Jus' saying...

Posted by Fill | December 11, 2007 12:10 PM
18

I have spine-tingling memories of going to Botch shows....the singer stepping back to let the whole crowd sing "its so quiet here".......
whenever i hear that part on the record i wish there was a crowd singing along. made it so much better.

Posted by thewildcard | December 11, 2007 12:19 PM
19

People singing along generally doesn't bother me, unless they're 1)really loud and 2) really off key and 3) really don't know the lyrics. People yapping about other stuff during a performance is pretty annoying all around. Don't need any fancy ejection system, though. Just turn to the douchebag and say 'Hey, why don't you stfu and watch the show?' Usually works, especially when everyone else within earshot confirms with a chorus of 'Yeah, shut up already!'

Posted by rk | December 11, 2007 12:25 PM
20

Fill,

They've played, rarely. You're right, it's probably that live PJ rendition I'm thinking of.

A Wiki search:

"The only time Temple of the Dog played a full one hour set was while rehearsing and writing the material for the album. The band (with the exception of Vedder) performed in Seattle at the Off Ramp Café on November 13, 1990.

In the time since the album's release, the band reformed for short live performances on four occasions where both Soundgarden and Pearl Jam were performing. They performed "Hunger Strike" on October 3, 1991 at the Foundations Forum in Los Angeles; a three-song set on October 6, 1991 at The Hollywood Palladium for the Rip Magazine 5th anniversary party (Temple of the Dog played after secret headlining act Spinal Tap); and "Hunger Strike" on both August 14, 1992 in Reston, Virginia and September 13, 1992 in Irvine, California (both shows were part of the Lollapalooza festival series in 1992).

At a Pearl Jam show on October 28, 2003, Chris Cornell joined them on-stage effectively re-uniting the band (Matt Cameron had been the drummer of Pearl Jam since 1998) for renditions of "Hunger Strike" and "Reach Down".

Pearl Jam has also been known to perform "Hunger Strike" live without Cornell on rare occasions.
Cornell's post-Soundgarden band, Audioslave, added "Call Me A Dog", "All Night Thing", and "Hunger Strike" to their live set in 2005. Additionally, Cornell added the aforementioned songs, "Say Hello 2 Heaven" and "Pushin Forward Back" to his solo live set in 2007."

Posted by trent moorman | December 11, 2007 12:27 PM
21

I'd like to P.P.S. Muzzle wikisearch and its pansies who gripe about the behavior of audiences at a rock show, fuck, operas too. I'm with comment one.

Posted by you ought to be laughing while taking a shit | December 11, 2007 1:54 PM
22

If you want to hear a band with absolutely no interruptions, either buy the CD and a nice pair of headphones, or pony up the cash to have the band over to your living room for a private concert. I used to be just as bitter about loud concert yokels as you, Trent, and then I realized that people who pay $ to talk at a concert and not pay attention to the music simply will not die out. Learn to adjust or rock unhappily, I say.

And, uh, hip-hop shows, y'all? No call-and-response, no show.

Posted by Sam M. | December 11, 2007 1:56 PM
23

21,

You laugh while you take a shit? Maybe you and #1 can bite each other's dicks off. That would be 2 less dumbfucks we would have to worry about spreading their genes.

After you both eat each other's dicks, listen to the Rain Forest Souds and be calm. Smile. Be with the warm love that you so share with the world around you.

Posted by love | December 11, 2007 2:36 PM
24

Rain Forest Sounds. With a N. See, I'm not a dumbfuck.

Ok, back to your dick eating.

Posted by love | December 11, 2007 2:39 PM
25

# 1 and 21,

After you eat each other's dicks. There's a cinder block here, that I want you to chain your dickless, brainless selves to. Yeah, that's it. Now jump off this bridge. That's it. Bye bye assholes.

Posted by i laugh when i shit on your head | December 11, 2007 4:13 PM
26

Last time I or anyone else told the annoying jerks to shut up they proceeded to get louder and more erratic with their noise(s). I feel as though I've become the cranky old fart at the concerts sometimes.

Posted by Nay | December 11, 2007 4:23 PM
27

There were annoying assholes talking loud in the back of the music room at the Croc during the Thrones. I thought it was the pinnacle of rudeness until they took their conversation and moved to the front of the room, about three feet from Joe Preston while he was playing his really quiet and meditative - and quite awesome - song. It was unbelievable.

Posted by skweetis | December 11, 2007 7:58 PM
28

A more blatant or annoy occurrence that I see no one has even brought up is when you get a primo spot up near the front of the stage then after each opening act more and more people start to try and push their way into the front. Even better is when during the main event performance people start trying to push or generally ram their way past you up to their front when there is hardly any room around you already. So now you are scrunched with no room to do anything other then stand there with your arms folded. These are also the same people who cut in front of girls or generally block the view of people who are short.

Posted by Stephen Moskvin | December 11, 2007 9:56 PM
29

Audiences in Seattle are so rude that I've mostly quit going to live shows. It's bummer because it was one of the things i really looked forward to moving here.

It is a Seattle or Northwest phenomena by the way. You can go to all kinds of concerts elsewhere in the country, and maybe only once in a great while will someone be yacking at top volume during most or all of the concert, or rudely jabbing you in the side as they force themselves over ten or twenty people so they can be close enough to the front of the stage to be sweated on by the lead guitarist or whatever.

The lack of common courtesy and entitled obliviousness to absolutely everyone around you - yeah I think it's something in the water up here.

Posted by I am your mother | December 11, 2007 11:02 PM
30

To #1 and 21,

Are you really gonna sit there and say that if this person was right in front of YOU during a show you had looked forward to seeing for a long time and they were basically ruining the show with their yapping, that you wouldn't be PISSED OFF AS SHIT at them?

If you are this angry at Trent and are really the 'angry consumer', imagine how angry you would be at this person.

Because you would be. You would be pissed off as shit. But you're here telling someone to eat a dick. Yeah, you're a dickhead. Oh, wait, the other guy ate your dick off, I forgot.

Posted by more love | December 12, 2007 12:44 AM
31

I love singing along at home, but people should not sing at a concert unless the artist invites them to sing! When I pay $20-$60 for a show the last fucking thing I want to hear is the bozo next to me singing -- I paid to hear the artist!

I've had this happen at too many shows -- one was an intimate acoustic solo show at the Croc where people got so pissed they ended up yelling "shut up!" from across the room at the fool who kept singing along.

Posted by Sung Out | December 12, 2007 7:00 AM
32

I gave up hope when I saw The Kings of Convenience play at Neumo's a while back. During a quiet part of a song, and they have many of those, some douchebag yelled out, "Simon and Garfunkel!!!"

I couldn't fucking believe it.

What made it worse was I had just seen them play an incredibly good show the night prior at Doug Fir in Portland, where apparently, people act like grown-ups at shows and don't yell out stupid shit.

I can't help but think that at the end of their tour, they'll remember Seattle as the place where the douchebag yelled out "Simon and Garfunkel!!!"

Loser.

Posted by SEA - PDX | December 12, 2007 10:14 AM

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