Politics You Talk Too Much
posted by December 11 at 10:16 AMon
And you never shut up.
When someone in the crowd talks throughout a show that you have gone to see, does it bother you?
Wait, a rephrase -
When you are at a show and the volume of someone’s talking competes with the band or artist playing, does that bother you?
Deep within the Unwritten Bylaws of Show-Going it is said:
When the volume level of your conversation competes with the volume level of the band or artist playing, your conversation should either a) move to another room or b) move to another room.
On the next page, under ‘Etiquette’, subtitle ‘Protocol’ it says:
If a band or artist is performing, and persons standing in the row behind you can hear you talking to your friend about texting another friend, and you are as loud as the band, then thou should shut your ass up.
Ejection chutes have been installed in some of Seattle’s venues to reprimand violators as part of a pilot program. If and when volumes of conversation reach ‘nuisance decibel level’, trapdoors will open below those involved and they will slide down a pathway of tubes until they are deposited safely into a dimpsty-dumpster full of packing peanuts outside the back of the venue.
Violators are free to re-enter the venue, but they will be required to wear one of these Pilot Program Silencer Muzzles: