Sound Check Ease Back In - Connect the Moles
posted by on January 2 at 9:12 AM
Welcome back to work. Welcome to the new year.
Now color Rob Halford from Judas Priest:
Here are some low impact exercises that will help ease brain cell flow back into normal functioning. Don’t rush:
These are samplings from the Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book, which came into my possession during the last moments of consciousness on New Year’s Eve. The scene is recurrent. You’ve been there, on that sofa you staked claim to. No way you were driving home. You’re immobilized by sleep and substance and joy 
that you won’t be crashing on the floor. The sun is set to rise. Chips are crushed into the carpet. Remnants of streamers moisten in a beer spill. A full plate of baby carrots sits on the table. The unmanned CD changer is playing some sort of “Darling Nikki” way too loud. You’re too sleepy to get up and turn the Prince off, so you take it, knowing you will soon fade. A coffee table is within arm’s reach. You think you see something called Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book, so you pick it up and graze the pages. There are Spinal Tap mazes and Lemmy’s moles. You’re unable to fully express your excitement at finding the book. On the thirty-fifth page, there’s a dot-to-dot of King Buzzo’s fro. And that is the image you end your year on. Buzzo’s dot-to-dot fro. You’re dizzy. The dots are moving. You’re lost in it, almost asleep. You wonder if the book is even real.
Hee!! there's movement in the left hemisphere, just felt a brain cell wiggle.
Very nice.
Same scene for me, except there was no carpet and the CD that was way too loud was some sort of Korn, which totally didn't fit. I really wanted to shut it off, but you are right, I couldn't pry myself off the sofa I had claimed.
I would much rather have had the cd be Purple Rain. You had it easy, man.
and buzzo's fro just moved for me too. But i'm sober. Maybe if I print it out and do the dot to dot it will go away.
Almost as cool.....I have a gansta rap coloring book with the likes of E-40, Snoop Dogg, Master P and Ice-T, etc.
I need to get that activity book.
You all had it easy. The cd that was on repeat for me was a noise rock band. It was the most horrible fucking thing I've ever heard. So true, I couldn't get off the sofa either. I even had a pullout. The stereo was in another room. I kept thinking that someone else would be bothered more than me, but it kept playing. It seemed like it got louder too. Finally I got up and turned it off. There were definitely many chips crushed into the carpet. And carrotts!!
1 T in carrots. I knew that. I swear.
I had the floor. Screw y'all. I would have killed for a sofa and a noise rock band. I took my shoes off and used them as a pillow. Frikkin sucked.
Come on, eat the carrots. Eat the broccoli. Give them a chance. The healthy alternatives.
Come back, Nikki, come back.
Does Rob Halford have a C-section scar? WTF? Whoa.
I would have preferred a crossword, but I guess this will do.
I was one on the floor. I wish I had thought of shoe pillows. I still feel like ass.
Hey Trent I saw your MTV2 thing, pretty cool. Where did you do that? Sweet wrestling mask.
Buzzo looks so stoic. I like him better with just dot to dots.
I never knew Halford had a C-section. Wow look at that.
Hi Val, the MTV2 segments were shot in Salt Lake City. I know, Salt Lake City? They actually have a really great all ages venue called Kilby Court. Salt Lake City also has amazing burritos.
I left my yellow wrestling mask in Tokyo. I need another one. I miss it so.
Rob Halford gave birth to Eminem. You all didn't know that?
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