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Sunday, January 6, 2008

Shins’s Marty Crandall, Girlfriend Arrested on Domestic Assault Charges

posted by on January 6 at 12:08 PM

elyse.jpg

Pitchfork reports today on an alleged physical altercation between Shins multi-instrumentalist Marty Crandall and girlfriend (and former ANTM contestant) Elyse Sewell that landed the couple in a Sacramento jail on felony domestic assault charges. From Sewell’s Livejournal:

Think you had a shitty weekend? Nah. Why not compare it to mine?

1.) On the drive home (home?) from Albuquerque to Portland, my ex-boyfriend got shitfaced and roughed me up in a Sacramento hotel. I escaped from the room through a blitzkrieg of violence and talked to hotel security, who called the fuzz.


2.) Because he had a bite mark, inflicted in self-defense, on his arm, Marty told the police to PRESS CHARGES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST ME. Now I am a felon.

3.) I spent the night in jail. Dig the hilarous monetary contents of my wallet as described by the pig who booked me:


4.) Jailors. America’s Next Top Model fans, all. As the warden took pics of my bloody knuckles for evidence (!!!! evidence!), he quipped, “So there goes that hand modeling job, huh? What’s Tyra going to say about this?” And here is how I was summoned from the holding cell for a strip-search, complete with a thorough plumbing of the boodissy: “Hey, Supermodel! Git over here!”

4.) A bail bondsman (!!! I have a bail bondsman!) got me out of the hoosegow this morning and took me to a hotel room where I now await my court date. Martin Lesley Crandall is still incarcerated. You can follow his saga by searching for his name on sacsheriff.com (click on “inmate information”).

So I’m stuck in Sac-town, alone and lonely, for 4-5 days until court. Court! OMFG.

On the flip side, I’m single and um, ready to mingle. Blind date, anyone?

ETA: Breakfast in jail is served at 4:00am. Meat-stuffed croissant. And, you should already know what a “kite” is if you’ve been studying your 50 Cent lyrics. But “toilet talk”? That was a new one for me. Apparently, if you bail all the water out of the toilet, you can use the pipes to talk to inmates on different floors. And, girl, you can tell who do it ‘cause they got like a big rash or whatever on they face from puttin’ it down in the toilet and shit. Damn..

Crandall remains incarcerated (you can view his booking file here). No statement so far from Crandall, the band, or Sub Pop.

Update: Sub Pop has issued the following statement:

Marty Crandall and his ex-girlfriend Elyse Sewell were both arrested over the weekend following an argument at a Sacramento hotel which resulted in hotel staff calling the police.

They were both taken into police custody and released over the weekend.

There will be no further comment at this time and we would appreciate their privacy being respected.

RSS icon Comments

1

That last part after ETA

"Breakfast in jail is served at 4:00am. Meat-stuffed croissant. And, you should already know what a “kite” is if you’ve been studying your 50 Cent lyrics. But “toilet talk”? That was a new one for me. Apparently, if you bail all the water out of the toilet, you can use the pipes to talk to inmates on different floors. And, girl, you can tell who do it ‘cause they got like a big rash or whatever on they face from puttin’ it down in the toilet and shit. Damn.."

was funny as hell. thats the best lead into a oneliner joke I've heard in a long time.
I had to quote it if thats ok. funny funny funny.
On the other hand I'm doing ok way out here, and sorry for your ordeal whoever you are.

Posted by I now see the light. | January 6, 2008 12:42 PM
2

she's a bit into herself isn't she? lots of mentions of people calling her supermodel. as in heroin-chic, i'll assume. and then there's the day-after booty-call she writes. already so ready to dive in for a blind date? seriously? out of the slammer and looking to hook up in a 12 hour period? i'm betting mr. crandal is not entirely to blame for this domestic squabble. sorry dude, choose your girlfriends with more care next time.

Posted by Emo Abuse | January 6, 2008 1:50 PM
3

Hey, Emo Abuse, nice reading comprehension/domestic violence apologia! Your girlfriend's a lucky gal.

Posted by Eric Grandy | January 6, 2008 2:34 PM
4

um, eric... reading comprehension? if she was trying to be tongue in cheek she failed. try 'nice metaphorical writing, lady' instead. second, a bit sexist to assume i'm a guy dating a girl, isn't it? you don't know me from eve. third, my 'i believe anita' bumper sticker is still on my fridge. where's yours?

Posted by Emo Abuse | January 6, 2008 3:38 PM
5

Well, "metaphorical writing," since there's no metaphor in the original post or any of these comments, forgive me if I still don't think much of your reading comprehension. But, hey, have fun with your bumper stickers.

Posted by Eric Grandy | January 6, 2008 4:01 PM
6

*sigh* and you're the one getting paid to write! you have no clue about which anita i'm even talking about, do you? i'm sure, however, you'll google around and "prove" me wrong in your response. gotta love stranger writers! about my metaphor comment, maybe sundays are not a good day for you to read between the lines? thanks for hanging in there with me, eric, good luck with your chosen career. your editor's a lucky guy.

Posted by Emo Abuse | January 6, 2008 5:12 PM
7

Hey Eric, I'm not inclined to take this all at face value yet, either. So far we've only heard her side of the story, because she's putting it out there on her blog. Hardly an impartial source of information. She could just be playing anyone who'll listen.

And I agree with EA that the tone of her screed is a bit inconsistent. "Oh, I'm so upset about this whole thing and, uh, anyone wanna party?"

Posted by rk | January 6, 2008 5:53 PM
8

Ugh. #6, don't quiz me on "Youth Against Fascism" lyrics. #7, I never said her blog was an impartial source, but I don't think a little black humor/sarcasm on her part means we should conclude, as #2 suggests, that she was asking for it.

Posted by Eric Grandy | January 6, 2008 6:12 PM
9

there's that reading between the lines thing again. not once did anyone say she was asking for it. i said maybe he wasn't entirely to blame for this drunken event between two people. black humor writer she ain't. she's glib and gabby and, in my view, is having fun with this (can you really take someone who writes in all seriousness "OMFG!" at face value?). no one expects bloggers, particularly stranger bloggers, to be impartial. but mssr grandy, you are drawing a pretty deep line here. is the brotherhood of blog thicker than water? in your case, methinks yes.

Posted by Emo Abuse | January 6, 2008 6:27 PM
10

Muhahaha... you guys are funny! Maybe you should meet at the park after class to settle this?

Posted by awstep4 | January 6, 2008 9:31 PM
11

I'd let her bite me.

Posted by Paulus | January 6, 2008 11:25 PM
12

She usually writes in a quirky, sarcastic, and funny manner, but it can be hard to follow if you're not used to it. Her blog entry probably comes off as her "taking it too well" to someone who isn't familiar with her style. She and Marty had been in a relationship for 7 years, and she mentions later on in the comments that this wasn't the first time he had hurt her, so her little quips about blind dates are probably more about reaffirming for herself that she shouldn't go back to him again.

Bleh. And he always seemed so jolly...

Posted by Lily | January 7, 2008 2:59 AM
13

This is bullshit. She has one bruise on her arm, he has one bite, they were probably BOTH wasted. This isn't battery, this is two drunk people being foolish and it's not some female-abuse thing either. That it's being portrayed that way just shows that people victimize women and thus view them as inferior.

The only side of the story we've heard is hers. That she posted about this on her livejournal is pretty low, that Pitchfork picked it up is even lower considering their one source is that same livejournal post, and that Marty is still in jail is the lowest.

He shouldn't have given her that bruise (which looks to me like a "I'm holding you too hard" bruise) and she shouldn't have bitten him. This is like the Isaac Brock rape story, it's just gonna turn into heresay and get blown out of proportion. BOO TO LIVEJOURNAL AND WEB 2.0

Posted by Hobbes | January 7, 2008 1:22 PM
14

man fuck that guy right in the neck.

Posted by jbomb | January 7, 2008 4:32 PM
15

The woman has a right to express herself. However, there isn't anything much lower than a man who files a domestic assault charge on his woman. He's a punk and his music sucks.

Posted by peetyport | January 7, 2008 4:59 PM
16

exactly why models and pudgy greasy self-professed geeks don't belong together. god doesn't like that shit.

Posted by cochise. | January 7, 2008 5:21 PM
17

People with eating disorders who are underweight bruise extremely easily.

Posted by scuba steve | January 7, 2008 8:52 PM
18

Scuba Steve, priceless, she is damn emaciated -isn't she? Overachieving girls with control issues unite.

Elyse is dealing with this situation the ONLY way she knows how - with a fucking sense of humor.

Posted by Addrienne | January 8, 2008 2:47 AM
19

I have been reading her blog for about a year. She is a very good writer. When she is done with modeling, I think she could be the next David Sedaris.

Posted by Jim | January 8, 2008 8:05 AM
20

none of your business.

Posted by noyb | January 8, 2008 4:18 PM

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