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Wednesday, February 6, 2008

There Sure are a Lot of Songs About Hockey

posted by on February 6 at 10:00 AM

Letís think about it (songs about tonsil hockey don’t count).

Firstly, there’s the band the Hanson Brothers, a Nomeansno side-project named after professional hockey players from the ’70s (who were the inspiration behind the characters of the same name in the movie Slap Shot). Their songs are about hockey, obvs, and beer and girls.

Click to listen to the song “Brad.”

I was home watching the hockey game
The score was five to one, L.A. against the Flames
I heard footsteps, on the second floor
I knew it was Brad, and, boy, was I fuckin’ sore

I went flying up the stairs,
My room was in a shambles, my stuff was everywhere
Brad cowered in the corner, his lip curled in a sneer
“I’ll fix you” I said,
“You little puke, get out of here!”

“Brad, no! Brad, leave it alone!
Not my hockey cards
Put them down, asshole!
Brad, no! Brad, leave that alone!
Not my Gameboy! No! No!”


Much like the Hanson Brothers, Two Man Advantage (from Long Island) also write songs about hockey. And beer and porn, but mostly about hockey. Here’s just a sample of their song list: “Penalty Box,” “Skating Down the Ice,” “Beerman” (about the guy selling beer at hockey games), “Hockey Junkie,” “Hockey Fight,” “Zamboni Driving Maniac,” “Pass the Puck,” “H.O.C.K.E.Y.”… and so it goes.

They’re a lot of fun, in small doses. Click to listen to their song “I Had a Dream About Hockey.”

The Zambonis only write songs about hockey too but I like TMA more. TMA are the Zoinks and the Zambonis are Alcatraz-era Mr. T Experience. Click to listen to “Hockey Monkey,” a song about a monkey who’s down by the pond playing hockey with the kids.

Atom & His Package also have a great hockey-inspired song called “Goalie” that goes “What do you do with your 1,500 pounds? You play goalie!” Good advice. The Vandals celebrate “Hockey Hair” in the song “Ape Drape (Mullet Song),” and the Super Furry Animals have a song about “Ice Hockey Hair” too (called, duh, “Ice Hockey Hair”)—“It’s instamatic and it has such flair.”

There are two compilations of hockey hits (Puck Rock volumes one and two) that feature mostly punk bands singing about the sport (Pansy Division, D.O.A., the Riverdales, SNFU, etc.). And did you know that even the Arcade Fire has a song about it? “Neighborhood #5 (Hockey).” There’s also that Warren Zeavon song I didn’t know about until I started really searching—”Hit Somebody (the Hockey Song).

This is the kind of stuff I think about all day. I can’t believe how many songs there are about hockey. There aren’t that many about soccer or football or baseball or volleyball or golf or curling, are there? Are there as many songs about surfing? Surfing’s a sport. I’m sure there are even more songs about surfing.

Now, to end this post, I leave you with this: Stompin Tom Connors performing “The Hockey Song.”

RSS icon Comments


Thank god there was only one Ten Yard Fight.

Posted by christopher hong | February 6, 2008 10:48 AM

my favorite hockey themed song is by esham titled 'hockey daddy' which was released as a promotion for the detroit red wings. what makes this song great is esham was at the forefront of the midwest's horrorcore hip-hop scene with his satanic themed group natas (which, luckilly for society, paved the way for the insane clown posse and eminem).

'hockey daddy', inexplicably, is a satanist african-american's ode to hockey over 'planet rock' type electro. the best part is when he chants "pizza pizza", the slogan for little caeser's pizza.

this song needs to be heard.

Posted by cosby | February 6, 2008 10:51 AM

Zevon's "Hit Somebody" was co-written with Mitch Albom and features background vocals by David Letterman. Yes, THAT David Letterman.

Also, let's not forget "I Wanna Drive The Zamboni" by the Gear Daddies.

Posted by Jason Josephes | February 6, 2008 11:47 AM

I'm blown away. I had no idea there were more than a couple songs. I thought for sure you'd sabotage yourself by forgetting Stompin' Tom. Very impressive.

Posted by left coast | February 6, 2008 1:24 PM

No mention of Slapshot?

Posted by No Cigar | February 6, 2008 1:46 PM

The Zambonis fuckin' rool.

Posted by Fnarf | February 6, 2008 5:16 PM

Funny, my girlfriend, who is a huge nomeansno freak, were just talking about Hanon Brothers last night.

50 Mission Cap is still a great song, even if the Tragically Hip have become stale.

Posted by laterite | February 6, 2008 6:39 PM

How could you miss Moneyshot's "Blades of Steel"? Best hockey song ever.

Posted by Irena | February 6, 2008 9:40 PM

Five for Fighting.

Posted by Steve | February 7, 2008 3:00 PM

Funny you should mention Neighborhood #5! I'd listen to it if I were you.

Posted by David | February 11, 2008 12:02 AM

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