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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

An Image of the Collapsing Record Industry

posted by on March 25 at 14:44 PM


This is the cover of the new Dolly Parton record, Backwoods Barbie, which was released last month. The clothing, the pose, the setting – all very alluring, as if the purchase of the album implies you and Dolly are going to have a “roll in the hay.” An outdated model can be dressed up in any short skirt and sexy pose money can buy, but when it all boils down you’re still being tricked into screwing an old lady.

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wow, this was the most sexist thing i've ever read in lineout. i don't know what point you're trying to make, but this was lame fucking post. more importantly, dolly parton is a fucking god, and you are obviously an idiot. she is much, much more than an 'old lady', asshole.

Posted by micro | March 25, 2008 2:53 PM

Dolly Parton is AMAZING and is always a sex goddess. Deal with it. You'd be a lucky man to get in that haystack with her.

Posted by Ari Spool | March 25, 2008 2:59 PM

I'll join the chorus:

Kirby you have less talent than the silicone in Dolly's left boob.

Posted by Jeff | March 25, 2008 3:08 PM

you post so sexiest! i can't believe ANGER having! she my god too! who wouldn't motorboat that?! god damnit jeff! ...sigh, no one understands you. i know.

Posted by scrat | March 25, 2008 3:11 PM

And we've been tricked into reading the ramblings of a moron.

Posted by Darrell | March 25, 2008 3:21 PM

I've got no problem with Dolly or her music. This wasn't a dis on her personally (although I do feel a similar discomfort at the sight of a siliconed, face lifted 62 year old as I do at a made-up beauty pageant 8 year old). Dressing up an outdated model. I should have known better than to use a metaphor. How is this sexist?

Posted by Jeff Kirby | March 25, 2008 3:21 PM

I took a poop this morning, and it too was an image of the recording industry. It was waste, it stunk and no one really wanted to hear about.

Speaking of which, isn't Britney's life precisely as it was portrayed on South Park? A month ago she's bi-polar, and now she recovering through acting and shooting videos.

Posted by left coast | March 25, 2008 3:52 PM

Yeah I'm with Jeff...can someone explain how his post was sexist? and soon, 'cuz I'm workin' 9 to 5.

Posted by Shilo Urban | March 25, 2008 3:54 PM

Nice fuck up Kirby.

Posted by Biggie J | March 25, 2008 3:59 PM

How is this, a legitimate release by a long-time legend, a harbinger for the death of the record industry? All you are saying is: "Dolly Parton dressed up sexy, she's old, it grossed me out."

Don't you get the joke? Backwoods Barbie...Um, duh, she's dressed up like a barbie in a haystack, maybe it's supposed to be a comment on the other artists (Spears family) that are giving Southern culture a bad name right now? Parton is not just known for her big ol' titties--she's an established feminist voice in country music (see 9 to 5) and she's ALSO got an incredible sense of humor (see her most recent tour press release where she talks about having to cancel shows because her back hurts from the weight of the front).

Congrats, dude. At least we know you're not a cougar-hunter.

Posted by Ari Spool | March 25, 2008 4:08 PM

"An outdated model can be dressed up in any short skirt and sexy pose money can buy, but when it all boils down you’re still being tricked into screwing an old lady."

hmm.. seems pretty straightforward. Regardless of your feelings towards lil Dolly.

Posted by wait, what? | March 25, 2008 4:17 PM

How is this post sexist? Where to begin is a better question. Comparing an older women's sexuality to her core essence, thus reducing her to an object you can therefore nullify by calling her 'outdated' and 'old'. In the immortal words of Dolly Parton, don't treat her like that just because she's a woman. It's funny because the song 'Backwoods Barbie' is all about people judging her on her appearance rather than her accomplishments or actions.
You have likened her to the irrelevant music business that is just waiting to die because she is an older woman. Not because her music is irrelevant, because it isn't. She is still making incredible music and she has lost none of her songwriting acumen. Her new album is pretty awesome and as charming as ever. You don't even talk about her attractiveness as an older women, because she certainly is a hot 62 year old women. Your post clearly states she is a relic simply because she is a women who is of a certain age. Misogynism plain and simple. Case closed. Apologize and repent and all will be forgiven, but stop making excuses for an obvious fuck up.

Posted by micro | March 25, 2008 5:10 PM

@6 It's not the most offensive thing about female musicians I've ever read, but how often do you (or other writers) talk about the fuckability of male artists?

Hardly ever. That's what makes it sexist.

Posted by JJ Hellgate | March 25, 2008 6:11 PM

@12: why should he apologize for your inability to understand a metaphor? The "outdated model" is obviously referring to the music industry. get with it already.

Posted by reality | March 25, 2008 6:29 PM

@14: the "outdated model" refers to the music industry, sure, but there's also obviously the implication of Ms. Dolly Parton herself in that phrase, which is rubbing people the wrong way. And "being tricked into screwing an old lady"... hmm, tricked, huh?

Posted by rtw | March 25, 2008 7:52 PM

@14, here's a fucking 'reality check', you apparently don't know what a metaphor is, or you wouldn't have posted such an insipid fucking response. Dolly=old women=outdated music industry. we now expect an apology from you for not knowing what the fuck 'metaphor' means.

Posted by micro | March 26, 2008 12:11 AM

I'm confused, I thought I read that Parton is basically financing this album and the pr to back it herself without major label backing.

What the hell is "An outdated model can be dressed up in any short skirt and sexy pose money can buy, but when it all boils down you’re still being tricked into screwing an old lady" supposed to mean in this context?

Posted by seattle98104 | March 26, 2008 1:47 AM

Micro put "fucking" in front of reality check.
No room for anyone else's opinion.

I don't think this cover was made to be classy, but I'm just a sexist fuck; I'm cool with that.

I really enjoyed this post, though, Jeff.
It's not too often I laugh from something I read.
I think I'm gonna like, bookmark this.

Posted by Nathan | March 26, 2008 3:41 AM

Whoah. Speaking of reality check, I just realized that people on the internet are assholes. What's up with that?

Apparently you hit the nerve of some pretty rabid Dolly Parton fans, you know, people with shitty taste in music getting all shitty about an old lady in pink vynil who's also more plastic than woman these days. I don't get it.

Posted by bearseatbeats | March 26, 2008 7:01 AM

Alright. Not pink vynil, but it might as well be.

Posted by bearseatbeats | March 26, 2008 7:05 AM

You arrogant young people make me sick. I was young, too, but you've never been old, so try to catch a clue before it's too late! Fucking old ladies is a great thing to do, if you're an old man! Everyone gets here eventually – unless you die, which is an option you might want to consider.

Posted by David B. | March 26, 2008 8:13 AM

The hardest thing about cleaning up after the photo shoot? Getting the old person smell out of the truck bed.

Posted by duplicitous | March 26, 2008 8:31 AM

yeah shes an old lady but id still hit it
you know you would too hater

Posted by frede | March 26, 2008 9:31 AM

"I never ask advice about growing," Alice said indignantly.

"Too proud?" the other enquired.

Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. "I mean," she said, "that one can't help growing older."

"One can't, perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty; "but two can. With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven."

Posted by David B. | March 26, 2008 10:02 AM

Ooohhhhhhh... You know Jeff wants to do her for reals! He jus' can't admit it.

And did you know that Dolly's going to be one of the mentors on American Idol this year??? How do her defenders feel about that one???

Posted by Dick | March 26, 2008 10:03 AM

Is there something wrong with fucking ol' ladies?

Posted by JimBob | March 26, 2008 10:05 AM

I don't know what's going on in here, but can't we all just agree that Dolly's records with Porter Wagoner are awesome?

Posted by Eli | March 26, 2008 10:08 AM

I think the sexism, unintentional or not, comes from the fact that our society really does imply all the time that there's something weird about wanting to have sex with older women. Society does not imply the same about wanting to have sex with older men.

Hell, I'm sure it all goes back to biology--after all, the point of sex is to procreate, riiight? But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't, yknow, sort of be aware of the double standard. And maybe not reinforce it.

Posted by leek | March 26, 2008 10:44 AM

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