Interview Barfly: For the Win
posted by April 14 at 14:55 PMon
Barfly of the Saturday Knights is Champion of the Line Out Greco Roman Tournament. Barfly bested Broadway’s own Slats Slatinskie in the finals. (See here.) Slats rolled out to an early lead but Barfly had a late unmatched surge that Slats Nation couldn’t handle.
Barfly, congratulations. I would like to present you with your steak knife and your KFC Biscuit. You are now President of the Stranger for a day.
Barfly: I just want to congratulate my opponents for making me work for the win. I want to thank Puma, Xymogenetics for the exoskeleton, my team of therapists for the long hours huddled around the coffee pot, prepping my ego for a soul crushing defeat that never materialized and my spiritual mentor, Jan Michael Vincent who taught me that only losers quit and only quitters lose. You’ve never steered me wrong, Champ. I want to dedicate this victory to everyone who cleared their browsers’ cache and cookies repeatedly so they could vote again and again and again. Finally I want Slats to know that I voted for him in every round. Usually twice.
Special thanks to Gatsby, Fridge, and The Proof. That’s not me in Drillbit Taylor.
In the words of Kanye West, “Gimme my shit!”
This victory has reinvigorated my lust for life. Now I’m goin’ to rehab.