Eurovision Eurovision Semi-final: Drag Barbies, golden GoGo Boys and a singing turkey
posted by April 27 at 9:00 AMon
Abby pointed out that the promo video for Azerbaijan is -if possible- even more fabulous than the live recording, and I have to agree it might just be that. Check it out here. Am I the only one who’s expecting both singers to start kissing?
But we mustn’t dwell on Azerbaijan, amazing though it is, there are more countries in this year’s contest.
One of them is Poland, they’re sending Isis Gee with the song For Life and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. Was everything else even worse? How is that possible? “For Life” is one of those sleep-inducing ballads where you’re waiting for something to happen… “surely at one point the song is going to explode, she’ll start shouting, the tone of the song will change and…” no. Nothing. Just Drag Barbie (I know the youtube clip is quite grainy, but check out this photo, she looks like a blonde Dana International… only far less pretty) doing the Whitney Houston-patented “Dramatically Moving The Microphone Away From My Mouth When I Reach A High Note” amidst the clouds, with her boring fake-violinists and fake-pianist. The promo video is even more annoying. Moving on.
And on we go to Ireland, incidentally the country that’s won the contest the most (and only sends crap entries since the last time they won in order not to have to host it again). Ireland is taking a risk this year by sending Dustin the Turkey with the glorious “Irelande, douze points” (Ireland, twelve points). Risky? Because they should easily make the top ten with this, and who knows, they might even win the damn thing again. Ireland also wins the prize for the most annoying vocal so far. I know allowances must be made for the fact that Dustin is a turkey, but that excuse only goes so far. The eurobeat makes up for everything though, as do the lyrics: “Drag acts, and bad acts and Terry Wogan’s wig, mad acts and sad acts, it was Johnny Logan`s gig” (I’ve never heard a better description of Eurovision). Also, note the ending where Dustin namedrops all the Eastern European countries in the hopes of getting their votes, and let’s not forget the golden GoGo boys in the background. Classy!
After all this madness, unfortunately it’s time for Andorra. Oh, I don’t hate Andorra, I’m sure it’s perfectly nice and last year they sent cute high school boys with guitars who sang something about the environment (and of course didn’t make it to the final).
No, the sad thing is the piece of crap they’re sending to Eurovision this year. “Casanova” is a hysterical piece of “dance” music you’d expect at Junior Eurovision instead of at the Real Contest (yes, the contest gets Capital Letters). I couldn’t find a live recording of the song so who knows if Gisela will hit those high notes. The promo video features a lot of doors, a ballgown and snow. I’m expecting arty choreography and for this to disappear without any votes at all.
Next up: Bosnia & Herzegovina, Armenia and The Netherlands.