On Tour Madlib is Heard: Detritus
posted by on April 22 at 11:11 AM
I am I-5 southbound here, driving to Los Angeles to play. Madlib’s Beat Konducta India has been the theme of the highway think-tank. Beat Konducta India is thirty-four instrumental hip-hop tracks using music, sounds, and samples from Indian cinema. It’s filthied and slow, and all the tracks are around two minutes long. Madlib scans into a cut, you see what he wants you to see, then he’s out. The tracks are short, but he’s not in a hurry. The 70 beats per minute lumber like Godzilla through a city. The monster’s too big to be quick. He was minding his own business until Delhi got in his way.
During the Seattle - LA drive, here’s what recurs: Consumption of coffee to be alert. And consumption of water because the coffee dehydrates. Then it’s hard to make time because the bladder says, “Me me me.”
And so enters the risk of the Little John Portable Urinal for men, which came with the Lady J female adapter. The Lady J looks complicated. Can you do the Lady J and drive?:
Or, the Pit Stop:
Here’s the Pit Stop, the portable urinal designed for truckers that’s tailor-made for guys and gals with promises to keep. The receiving end is designed to be mounted on the wall of a truck’s sleeper cab, while the leakproof container at the other end of the five-foot transfer hose is self-sealing with a quick-disconnect mechanism. The 1.25-gallon tank’s carrying handle facilitates easy transport of all of that detritus without danger of spillage, and is probably big enough for a non-stop coast-to-coast haul.
Without danger of spillage. Without danger of spillage? Look at that thing. There is much danger of spillage.
*****
Detritus - de·tri·tus n:
1. debris or discarded material
2. fragments of rock that have been worn away
3. organic debris formed by the decomposition of plants and animals
Come on Trent, think green. Re-use, recycle. If plastic bottles of Diet Coke with lime aren't to be filled with piss, then what is?
Take the label off and then play the game I like to call: Is that Mountain Dew?
Tsk, tsk.
Hey Jeff. Oh I'm thinking green and lime.
Gas is the most expensive it's ever been. A great time to drive.
I saw a lady in shorts pee standing up one time. She was on the side of the road. She must not have had her Lady J attachment.
There is always danger of spillage.
Don't ever pour it out. If you get lost with Bear Gryls in the Moravian Dessert, you may have to drink a gallon of pee to survive.
that madlib was bettered by oh no's dr. no's oxperiment imo, but both are fire
how dope is it that two brothers did warring "all india" and "all turkish/anatolian" instrumental hiphop albums?
With a little training a gal can pee standing up, and reach distances two or three times as far as any guy with ease.
The long tube on the Pit Stop has me worried. All the detritus isn't going to make it around the bend.
The real solution is the same as it always was: Mickey's Big Mouths.
Perhaps the Mickey's beer allows for the best recycling on the road--aside from the water coffee combo of course. Are you keeping those truckers entertained as you drive by?????
Tante
While you're doing this, you're going to lose your concentration, run off the road and have an accident. And trust me, it's not easy to re-attach an amputated whang.
This is the reason you can't get those wide-mouth one-litre pop bottles anymore. Truckers were filling 'em up and pitching 'em out the window, and if passersby were lucky, their encounters would consist of finding a warm Mountain Dew bottle filled with a somewhat yellower-than-normal fluid. If they were unlucky... well, it doesn't take a Ph.D. in physics to guess some of the possible results.
When we were traveling through France, we ran into a rest area that was closed. As a result of the closure, the weary travelers decided to shit on the side of the building. I'm not kidding...., loads of human shit everywhere! Maybe a portable shitting device should be designed for the French...., or maybe they could just use the Lady J. I have no personal experience with either. I prefer to use the bushes when in a jam.
If you're Dave Matthews, you pour your urine and feces on a boat filled with tourists.
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