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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Madlib is Heard: Detritus

posted by on April 22 at 11:11 AM

madlib2.jpgI am I-5 southbound here, driving to Los Angeles to play. Madlibís Beat Konducta India has been the theme of the highway think-tank. Beat Konducta India is thirty-four instrumental hip-hop tracks using music, sounds, and samples from Indian cinema. Itís filthied and slow, and all the tracks are around two minutes long. Madlib scans into a cut, you see what he wants you to see, then he’s out. The tracks are short, but heís not in a hurry. The 70 beats per minute lumber like Godzilla through a city. The monsterís too big to be quick. He was minding his own business until Delhi got in his way.

During the Seattle - LA drive, hereís what recurs: Consumption of coffee to be alert. And consumption of water because the coffee dehydrates. Then itís hard to make time because the bladder says, ďMe me me.Ē

And so enters the risk of the Little John Portable Urinal for men, which came with the Lady J female adapter. The Lady J looks complicated. Can you do the Lady J and drive?:

littlejohnandladyj.jpg

Or, the Pit Stop:

pitstop2.jpgHereís the Pit Stop, the portable urinal designed for truckers that’s tailor-made for guys and gals with promises to keep. The receiving end is designed to be mounted on the wall of a truckís sleeper cab, while the leakproof container at the other end of the five-foot transfer hose is self-sealing with a quick-disconnect mechanism. The 1.25-gallon tank’s carrying handle facilitates easy transport of all of that detritus without danger of spillage, and is probably big enough for a non-stop coast-to-coast haul.

Without danger of spillage. Without danger of spillage? Look at that thing. There is much danger of spillage.

*****

Detritus - de∑tri∑tus n:

1. debris or discarded material
2. fragments of rock that have been worn away
3. organic debris formed by the decomposition of plants and animals

RSS icon Comments

1

Come on Trent, think green. Re-use, recycle. If plastic bottles of Diet Coke with lime aren't to be filled with piss, then what is?

Take the label off and then play the game I like to call: Is that Mountain Dew?

Tsk, tsk.

Posted by Jeff | April 22, 2008 11:31 AM
2

Hey Jeff. Oh I'm thinking green and lime.

Gas is the most expensive it's ever been. A great time to drive.

I saw a lady in shorts pee standing up one time. She was on the side of the road. She must not have had her Lady J attachment.

Posted by trent moorman | April 22, 2008 11:36 AM
3

There is always danger of spillage.

Posted by drheavy | April 22, 2008 11:53 AM
4

Don't ever pour it out. If you get lost with Bear Gryls in the Moravian Dessert, you may have to drink a gallon of pee to survive.

Posted by big bro | April 22, 2008 12:20 PM
5

that madlib was bettered by oh no's dr. no's oxperiment imo, but both are fire

how dope is it that two brothers did warring "all india" and "all turkish/anatolian" instrumental hiphop albums?

Posted by ndrwmtsn | April 22, 2008 12:50 PM
6

With a little training a gal can pee standing up, and reach distances two or three times as far as any guy with ease.

The long tube on the Pit Stop has me worried. All the detritus isn't going to make it around the bend.

The real solution is the same as it always was: Mickey's Big Mouths.

Posted by Fnarf | April 22, 2008 12:55 PM
7

Perhaps the Mickey's beer allows for the best recycling on the road--aside from the water coffee combo of course. Are you keeping those truckers entertained as you drive by?????
Tante

Posted by Tante | April 22, 2008 2:20 PM
8

While you're doing this, you're going to lose your concentration, run off the road and have an accident. And trust me, it's not easy to re-attach an amputated whang.

Posted by rk | April 22, 2008 3:38 PM
9

This is the reason you can't get those wide-mouth one-litre pop bottles anymore. Truckers were filling 'em up and pitching 'em out the window, and if passersby were lucky, their encounters would consist of finding a warm Mountain Dew bottle filled with a somewhat yellower-than-normal fluid. If they were unlucky... well, it doesn't take a Ph.D. in physics to guess some of the possible results.

Posted by Breklor | April 22, 2008 4:06 PM
10

When we were traveling through France, we ran into a rest area that was closed. As a result of the closure, the weary travelers decided to shit on the side of the building. I'm not kidding...., loads of human shit everywhere! Maybe a portable shitting device should be designed for the French...., or maybe they could just use the Lady J. I have no personal experience with either. I prefer to use the bushes when in a jam.

Posted by brent amaker | April 22, 2008 4:43 PM
11

If you're Dave Matthews, you pour your urine and feces on a boat filled with tourists.

Posted by McGraw | April 23, 2008 4:56 PM

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