Video Warning: May Cause Butt-Barfing
posted by on April 29 at 13:17 PM
In 2001, when Alien Ant Farm was on MTV every 20 minutes covering “Smooth Criminal,” I was consoled by the idea that when it came to shitty bands covering Michael Jackson it couldn’t possibly get any worse.
I was wrong. It’s worse now. If I ever have to see Pete Wentz lick his bass strings again I’m going to find his mom and kick her in the stomach. Fall Out Boy will never get away with this. When Alien Ant farm committed their atrocity, karma hit them fast and strong - a year later they crashed their tour bus and singer Dryden Mitchell broke his back. Fall Out Boy will not escape unscathed. I’m predicting that within the next year Pete Wentz will be beaten to within an inch of his life by a drunken Joe Simpson, furious that his daughter got knocked up by such a prissy douche. Lord knows what’s in store for Patrick Stump. I foresee some sort of bear mauling, or perhaps a poison hoagie.
Poison Hoagie is my new band name.
wow..that was really bad..seriously, that was bad.
That made my ears sad.
Can someone throw Wentz off a tall building or something? I need to know if douches can fly.
God dammit, Jeff. I've been doing nothing but reading comic books and playing Grand Theft Auto IV all day, having the time of my fucking life. And now, it's ruined.
When I'm running around Liberty City, hopped up on murder, breaking windows and helping motherfuckers get got, it won't be nearly as sweet.
Because the pleasure receptors in my brain are gummed up with black, viscous layers of heinous douche build-up for which science has yet to formulate an antidote.
In short, fuck you, Jeff. I'm going to fart in your mouth.
Holy shit, man, that "poison hoagie" thing is gold. Had me laughing so hard I was crying.
Kudos, sir.
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