News Slats’ Hat
posted by on May 16 at 11:20 AM
Stolen.
This in from “C”:
I witnessed Slats’ hat being stolen by some fuckface at the Cha Cha last night. The thief made a quick and stealthy run from the outside smoking area and snatched Slats’ hat on his way past. It was a very quick and startling incident. Most of the witnesses were shocked and confused, as was Slats who spent about twenty minutes searching under the table for his hat. A girl at the table made a rescue attempt but returned empty handed. It was obvious that Slats was quite upset about the loss of the hat. No one really got a good look at the perpetrator. I personally hope this chicken-shit bastard is disemboweled and dumped under some bushes.
* Reward: Whoever finds and returns Slats’s hat to Slats will be Stranger President for a day. They will also receive a KFC biscuit.
* (Since there is no real Stranger President, whoever finds Slats’ hat will be President of my Stranger Line Out posts for a day. And get a biscuit.)
In Athens, GA, people (frat dudes) used to steal Michael Stipe’s hats sometimes and he would be most unpleased.
What on earth does this have to do with MUSIC? The Stranger... promoters of the useless, talentless, and retarded.
Geez, ss, have a glass of fucking milk.
This is a NIGHTLIFE blog, kiddo. Slats is part of Seattle's nightlife, like it or not.
Also, he's a nice guy. Maybe you should try talking to him sometime.
BORING PROVINCIAL CRAP. crap crap crap. zzzzzzzzzz*fart*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
who gives a shit
Stealing someone's hat is lame. Whoever did it is a coward and a pussy.
thats some ol booshit
thats funk on sight
Slats = Moorman in 10 years
who the fuck is slats?
Slats is a substitute for interesting and/or relevant music blog content posted by shitty music writers with no depth or insight
Yeah, I want more "interesting and/or relevant music blog content posted by shitty music writers with no depth or insight"!
So aside from the fact that he apparently lives on Broadway, is there any reason Slats appears so much here? Is it just for some sort of irony's sake? Or do Stranger writers really care this much about him?
Maybe someone could explain his faux-celebrity status to me and I'd be less confused.
@11-me too.
baby steps.
The point is, you give this guy (who I'm sure is perfectly nice) an inordinate amount of attention here on Line Out, and no one (at least no one who doesn't live on Capitol Hill) can figure out why.
I agree with Nick @12 - A little explanation of why Slats is So Damned Important to Seattle nightlife would be nice, for the sake of context.
The joke is that you left out a pretty important comma, bing. Baby steps.
What is it about Stranger writers? You can talk crazy shit about anyone or anything with a holier-than-thou attitude, but the minute the critic gets criticized, you piss yourself like a bunch of fucking babies. It's a legitimate question to be asked: What does this have to do with anything music and/or nightlife related? Because a guy goes out to bars a lot? Not everyone lives at the Cha Cha. Some of us actually expect music 'journalists' to focus their efforts on music.
Hey did you hear the one about the guy who made a minor grammatical error on a comment to a blog post, and then the music writer guy totally called him on it? But then it turned out that the comma wasn't grammatically necessary in colloquial english according to most authorities on the subject, so then the music writer guy looked like a pedantic twat?
IZ SO FUNY
and once again certain commenters get a major bug in their ass for absolutely no reason.
1) Slats actually is a very nice guy. I had a good conversation with him about groundscoring earlier this same night at Linda's.
2) He's an institution. He's like the Space Needle: You can see them both from about anywhere; like it or not, they're both important parts of Seattle; and they're both tall and thin with a large flat disk on top.
That is all.
top 10 reasons why Slats is better than you:
10)He's always smiling
9)He always has a chick or two with him
8)Slats is always armed with a drink
7)He's out all night
6)Slats doesn't bitch on the internet
5)Slats wears the same clothes and doesn't give a fuck what you uptight bitches think
4)I saw Slats one night outside Kincora trip and do a flip landing on his feet like a ninja cat. Best thing was he had a full drink in his hand and his hat didn't come off
3)Slats always has a good story and is a great listener. Give it a try, theres a reason he isn't dead and his advice is something a ton of kids should heed.
2)You can replace any of the 'Chuck Norris'-isms with 'Slats' and its probably true.
and the number one reason Slats is better then you is (drumroll):
1)Slats played with Duff fucking McKagan from Guns n' Roses.
@19 and 20 - Thank you!
That's all I wanted to know. Apparently he is a nice, friendly, fun-loving guy with a distinctive look and a ubiquitous presence in the Capitol Hill neighborhood (evidenced by the fact that so many of you have Slats stories). That explains why he is constantly written about here.
I just had no idea what the deal was. I've never met or even seen the guy and then all of a sudden Line Out turned in to an electronic Slats shrine. Now I understand why!
Meh. Commas are rarely important and anyone who points out such a trivial detail is a twat.
'Silly Killers' was the name of his band with Duff by the way. It goes for good coin on ebay so if you find a copy hold on to it.
PS: Google is the most amazing thing ever. I work in IT and it answers 90% of my end users problems... heres some google links
http://www.myspace.com/sillykillers
http://www.sugarbuzzmagazine.com/bands/sillykillers/sk.html
add a reason to Bobcat's list:
none of you losers have friends who get portraits of you tattooed on them. Slats. does. period.
Electronic Slats Shrine
Who wants to start a psych band with me?
Speaking as guy who doesn't know him, I always saw him as the ultimate punchline to any and every kind of joke. Kind of like how "Bob" is to the church of the sub-genius.
Here is a picture I took of Slats at a Champagne Champagne show for visual reference for the uninitiated noobs.
Slats rules. I love any and all Slats updates.
Keep them coming. For bing. There is nothing more entertaining than reading people like bing get all uptight in a blog post.
Bing, you are so lame. You make me sick. I would feel sorry for you, but you are too much of a dick. Bing needs a glass of milk too.
bing=sack of shit now and in 10 years.
bing, it seems like you get some attention on this blog too. Maybe bing is little jealous. Or something. There is absolutely no reason to get that pissed about a blog post on Slats' hat being stolen. But you seem pissed and hurt and jaded. What is it in life that you have failed so miserably at that you have to come here, to this blog, and vent your frustrations? Is your band really that bad? If you are such a good writer and such a wise music critic, why are you the commenter here? Where is your blog bing? What's the name of your band? Tell us about the music you like.
Hey, in case anyone cares: Slats was at Linda's on Friday night, hat-on-head. I don't know if it was a the original recovered from the thief or new. My guess is the latter.
The loss of a hat can't keep a good man down.
Yesterday I saw a man passed out lying on the sidewalk on Broadway and John and Slats was taking charge organizing the bystanders to help. What an awesome guy!
Slats, fuck yeah! I never had the nerve to talk to him, but the guy... man. He's a living legend.
I bet it was that bitch, Lindsay Lohan. Boy is she outta control.
Slats helped me with the fog machine at the Comet last night. All is well.
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