Shit Talk “The indictment is as much on us Christians as on anyone else”
posted by May 12 at 17:59 PMon
Christian Today has a review of Christian band Delirious?’s new album, Kingdom of Comfort. I don’t know how I stumbled into this site, but it provides a very interesting look into the world of Christian record reviewing.
Firstly, if you want to be a Christian music reviewer, it’s important to assess the spiritual content before you review the musical part: “You cannot help but self-reflect on your priorities after hearing this album.” Note the unnecessary ‘self’ before ‘reflect,’ driving the reviewer even further into his or her own mind. This is deep. Jesus deep.
In fact, the next few sentences don’t mention the music at all, except to use the horrible music-review word ‘ethereal.’ And that the lead singers’ delivery is ‘humble’ and ‘straight-up.’ It continues by saying that this style of singing “makes each song feel as if it is a private confession that he is letting us in on – yet as we listen it becomes our confession too.”
It goes on. There’s another mention of the music here: “And never at any point is music or spiritual substance sacrificed in the name of agenda.” But then the reviewer doesn’t talk about what the music sounds like. Then the reviewer calls two songs “heavenly and beautiful,” without explaining in what way the songs are heavenly and/or beautiful. And then things close by saying: “The balance is perfect and the result is music that puts substance between the ears and stirs a tearful compassion in the heart.”
So, in conclusion, the album has songs that are ethereal, humble, straight-up, beautiful, heavenly, and substantive. I don’t know what kind of music it is, or what kind of songs are on the album—up-tempo? ballads? Eh. Who cares? It’s all about the Jesus.