Line Out Music & Nightlife

Slog

News & Arts

« You're Misinterpreting Debauch... | Joe Bataan - Theme From The Me... »

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Male Yoko Ono: Yoko Erectus

posted by on May 21 at 13:15 PM

yokoerectus.jpgThe male Yoko is a version of early Homo Erectus man still walking among us. 1.8 million years ago, Homo Habilis began evolving and developing. Eyeball ridges formed. They were taller and thinner, and their spines got straighter. They made fire. They used bone and rocks to chip away flint for cutting and scraping. The Homo Erectus tools included wooden spears.

Then they got a desk job and their girlfriend started singing in a band.

Yoko Erectus Man was supportive at first. His mate was happy and fulfilling her artistic dream. On the night of her band’s first show Yoko Erectus Man carries in gear, helps set up, and supplies drinks for all. Yoko Erectus is drenched in expensive Italian cologne. Scent is important here in the wild, and all there must know she is his. Dominance must be established.

The set begins and Yoko Erectus sees other males (rivals) casting their eyes at his girlfriend’s bottom. She is in shape from her gym membership. She also has hips that subconsciously tell all the males in the room her body is well suited for childbirth. She sings beautifully. Her voice carries around the room and people are taken by her.

Yoko Erectus doesn’t like what’s going on one bit. He paces the back of the room to study who’s looking at his woman. He orders tequila and flashes money to as many people as possible.

The set ends and Yoko Erectus is quickly onstage to load gear off and show other males that he is with her. Onstage, more money is flashed and he makes a fake important call on his iPhone. Offstage, he tells his girlfriend he has to get up early and they can’t stay. Yoko Erectus has her out of the club within fifteen minutes. There is no conversation on the way home.

1.8 million years ago, Yoko Erectus Man would have clubbed her.

RSS icon Comments

1

i adore you, trent!

man, oh man! i wanna know who (if any) this so called "yoko erectus" is!

mwahahahha!

Posted by racheal.huffman | May 21, 2008 1:43 PM
2

I've had some extreme encounters with Yoko Erectus on assignment. It is strange, but Yoko Ercectus seems especially hostile to my glasses.

Posted by WOLF BLITZER: SPECIAL REPORT | May 21, 2008 2:02 PM
3

Yoko Erectus Man never quite know what to do with Wolf Blitzer

Posted by WOLF BLITZER: SPECIAL REPORT | May 21, 2008 2:11 PM
4

No no, cologne is more of Euro Hominid Early Man.

More of a land bridge type thing.

Posted by Sapien | May 21, 2008 3:16 PM
5

Hahahaha! I love you.

Posted by tamara | May 21, 2008 3:38 PM
6

This is beautiful.

Posted by laterite | May 21, 2008 7:39 PM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).