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Saturday, June 21, 2008

There are only 28 albums that are better than Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway

posted by on June 21 at 15:47 PM

Really, nothing good can come from looking at (or re-posting) a list of Entertainment Weekly’s 100 Best Records from 1983-2008. Obviously it’s going to be almost completely wrong. And it is. It is so wrong. But that’s just the thing - it is soooo wrong. Bafflingly wrong, to the point where it actually becomes worth looking at, if only to wonder what the fuck was going on with the people who compiled it.

100 George Michael - Faith (1987)
99 Hole - Live Through This (1994)
98 Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism (2003)
97 Britney Spears - Britney (2001)
96 PJ Harvey - Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea (2000)
95 T.I. - Trap Muzik (2003)
94 The Police - Synchronicity (1983)
93 Elliott Smith - Either/Or (1997)
92 Destiny’s Child - The Writing’s on the Wall (1999)
91 Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream (1993)
90 System of a Down - Toxicity (2001)
89 Aimee Mann - Bachelor No. 2 (2000)
88 Peter Gabriel - So (1986)
87 2Pac - All Eyez on Me (1996)
86 My Bloody Valentine - Loveless (1991)
85 Dixie Chicks - Home (2002)
84 New Order - Low-Life (1985)
83 The Pretenders - Learning to Crawl (1984)
82 Jeff Buckley - Grace (1994)
81 Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral (1994)
80 Christina Aguilera - Back to Basics (2006)
79 The Replacements - Let It Be (1984)
78 Pearl Jam - Vs. (1993)
77 Portishead - Dummy (1994)
76 Ryan Adams - Heartbreaker (2000)
75 Bruce Springsteen - Born in the U.S.A. (1984)
74 Moby - Play (1999)
73 Smiths - The Queen is Dead (1986)
72 Van Halen - 1984 (1984)
71 No Doubt - Rock Steady (2001)
70 Mary J. Blige - My Life (1994)
69 The Postal Service - Give Up (2003)
68 Emmylou Harris - Wrecking Ball (1995)
67 Metallica - Metallica (1991)
66 Dr. Dre - The Chronic (1992)
65 The White Stripes - Elephant (2003)
64 Erykah Badu - Mama’s Gun (2000)
63 U2 - The Joshua Tree (1987)
62 Radiohead - OK Computer (1997)
61 Eric B. & Rakim - Paid in Full (1987)
60 Pavement - Crooked Rain Crooked Rain (1994)
59 Madonna - Ray of Light (1998)
58 The Pixies - Surfer Rosa (1988)
57 Neil Young - Harvest Moon (1992)
56 Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (2002)
55 Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions… (1988)
54 Janet Jackson - Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814 (1989)
53 Elvis Costello - King of America (1986)
52 Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (2007)
51 Fugees - The Score (1996)
50 LCD Soundsystem - Sounds of Silver (2007)
49 Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head (2002)
48 Johnny Cash - American IV: The Man Comes Around (2002)
47 Liz Phair - Exile in Guyville (1993)
46 Björk - Homogenic (1997)
45 Belle and Sebastian - If You’re Feeling Sinister (1996)
44 Lucinda Williams - Car Wheels On A Gravel Road (1998)
43 Beastie Boys - Paul’s Boutique (1989)
42 Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) (1993)
41 Bob Marley and the Wailers (1984) - Legend
40 The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready to Die (1994)
39 Sheryl Crow - Sheryl Crow (1996)
38 Run-DMC - Raising Hell (1986)
37 Modest Mouse - The Moon & Antarctica (2000)
36 TLC - CrazySexyCool (1994)
35 Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill (1995)
34 The Strokes - Is This It (2001)
33 Alicia Keys - As I Am (2007)
32 R.E.M. - Life’s Rich Pageant (1985)
31 Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds (2006)
30 Guns N’ Roses - Appetite for Destruction (1987)
29 Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway (2004)
28 Nas - Illmatic (1994)
27 Arcade Fire - Funeral (2004)
26 Bob Dylan - Time Out of Mind (1997)
25 Interpol - Turn On the Bright Lights (2002)
24 Shania Twain - Come On Over (1997)
23 The Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin (1999)
22 De La Soul - 3 Feet High and Rising (1989)
21 Mariah Carey - The Emancipation of Mimi (2005)
20 Fiona Apple - Tidal (1996)
19 Beyoncé - Dangerously in Love (2003)
18 A Tribe Called Quest - People’s Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm (1990)
17 Beck - Odelay (1996)
16 Tom Waits - Rain Dogs (1985)
15 Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
14 The Cure - Disintegration (1989)
13 Cat Power - You Are Free (2003)
12 OutKast - Stankonia (2000)
11 Nirvana - MTV Unplugged in New York (1994)
10 Radiohead - In Rainbows (2007)
09 Amy Winehouse - Back to Black (2007)
08 Paul Simon - Graceland (1986)
07 Jay-Z - The Blueprint (2001)
06 Green Day - American Idiot (2004)
05 Madonna - Madonna (1983)
04 Kanye West - The College Dropout (2004)
03 U2 - Achtung Baby (1991)
02 Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (1998)
01 Prince and the Revolution - Purple Rain (1984)

This is a joke, right? There is actually a “critic” (or group of “critics”) who would honestly and thoughtfully put the Emancipation of Mimi 41 spots ahead of OK Computer on a top 100 list, but still put In Rainbows in the top 10? That doesn’t make one damn lick of sense. The more I stare at the list the more confused I get. Who is this list supposed to cater to? It seems like it’s trying to cater to everyone, and in doing so has become relevant to no one.

RSS icon Comments

1

that shit is whacked yo

Posted by something | June 21, 2008 5:32 PM
2

I suppose putting Nevermind up there was deemed to be too obvious, hence Nirvana's sole entry being Unplugged.

At least they were smart enough to put Tom Waits' Rain Dogs way up the list.

Posted by Matt from Denver | June 22, 2008 12:00 AM
3

That Kelly Clarkson album really isn't terrible.

I mean, it's not the 29th best album ever. It's not even the 290th best album ever. But still, there are a number of catchy songs on there.

But yeah ... this list is a fucking abomination.

No "Nevermind"!?

Posted by abe | June 22, 2008 12:02 AM
4

I agree with #1...if I had to take only one album with me to a deserted island it would be Purple Rain

Posted by Triple X | June 22, 2008 12:16 PM
5

That is a truly bizarre list. You gotta love this run:

30 Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction (1987)
29 Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway (2004)
28 Nas - Illmatic (1994)
27 Arcade Fire - Funeral (2004)
26 Bob Dylan - Time Out of Mind (1997)
25 Interpol - Turn On the Bright Lights (2002)
24 Shania Twain - Come On Over (1997)
23 The Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin (1999)
22 De La Soul - 3 Feet High and Rising (1989)
21 Mariah Carey - The Emancipation of Mimi (2005)

I'll give 'em credit for diversity, if nothing else . . .

Posted by Levislade | June 23, 2008 8:46 AM
6

at least it's unpredictable.

Posted by kelly | June 23, 2008 1:11 PM
7

No John Tesh??? :-(

Posted by fish barrell shoot | June 23, 2008 1:27 PM
8

Or Weird Al? where is the love for the .01% of the people who only listen to mainstream musical parodies?

Posted by vooodooo84 | June 23, 2008 3:39 PM
9

OMG, not even one Ani diFranco album. OK, she's indie. But why Pearl Jam's 'vs.', instead of 'Ten'? 'Ten' and Nirvana's 'Nevermind' changed radio music for the rest of the 90's.

Posted by Mrs. Jarvie | June 24, 2008 4:45 AM
10

whatta joke.


Posted by steel tan | June 24, 2008 10:22 AM

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