Come now, wicked children! Gather close round the fire, and let me tell you a terrifying tale…a tale of The Gayest Halloween Ever, which will be brought to you by several fabulous, scary, and homocentric Halloween happenings!

Foremost amongst these is something called “Magnum VIII, Get your Trick On”—a terrifyingly gay, gay, GAY burlesque and art show and dance party hosted by the towering Sylvia O’Stayformore at Re-Bar.

The event includes erotic art, dancing, an amateur porn called “Filth Element”— allegedly banned from this years HUMP because the film looked "too good to be considered amateur" (or so the legend goes—bwahahahaha!)—Waxie Moon, something called an “Otter-Pop”, and so forth. Plus costume prizes! 10:30pm, $8, Re-Bar 1114 Howell. GHOULISH!

For the lesbocentric, The Wild Rose (God bless it) is hosting their highly costumed Halloween extravaganza called Le Freak, starting at 9pm at, featuring the dancetastic dancey-ness of the DJs Amateur Youth, Blü, Julia & Teenburger. Costume Contest Zombie Dance-Off! Prizes by Vain! JESUS! $5 Cover! 1021 East Pike Street. HORRIFYING!

Off the beaten path (i.e. somewhere in West Seattle, which I guess they’re calling “Youngstown” these days) is the 15th annual Hive Mind Halloween! The lineup of DJs is extensive (over 12 in all!), it starts at 9pm, and don’t come without $20, because that’s the cover. The address is 4408 Delridge Way SW. DEVILISH!

Tonight also marks the opening of The Living Room, a teeny-tiny new little bar (just about the size of your average, yes, living room that features the scary talents of DJ Riz (Rollins), DJ Lady Schick and DeVo! No cover, spinning starts at 8pm, 1355 East Olive Way. PETRIFYING!

Happy Halloween! TONIGHT!