For serious. If you have record player troubles, like, if your record skips a bunch OR skates across the grooves with a vvvvVVVVRRRRRIIIIIPPPPP, please, never-fucking-EVER tape/glue/affix your spare change to "fix" this problem. You ARE doing it wrong. Either your records are just beat copies, you might need a new stylus, or perhaps it's time to invest in a new turntable with proper anti-skate and counter weight controls.

• M. Nipz
• NEVER EVER DO THIS!! Worst anti-skate/skip solution EVER!!

If your brand-new records don't play on your turntable, and you're using this "adding weight to the headshell" method, you're gonna scrape the grooves clean of sound-producing bumps. Fail!! So, get new gear, you hear!?

Okay, sermon over, now...let's listen to the Real Kids!!