Literally.

Over on Slog I wrote about the Amy Sedaris press release annoucing "the completion of the drafting of an agreement that would allow Jerri Blank and the beloved student body and faculty of Strangers With Candy's Flatpoint High to take up temporary residence in Springfield for the 500th episode of The Simpsons."

But another chunk of the press release is totally Line Out material:

A mix-tape of Sedaris' favorite new music—"played by bands that came into being only after the year 2000," says Sedaris—has been requested by a large upscale retail chain. "We're tentatively calling it 'New Music for Old People,'" Sedaris notes. "It's great new music that these oldsters—many of whom turned away from music entirely during the tragic music scene of the Eighties—have never before heard."

The press release goes on to announce the possibility of Amy Sedaris line of "personal submersibles" ("We're looking ahead to see what new products might be needed as the effects of Global Warming become more and more pronounced," says Sedaris) so who knows if the mix-tape will ever materialize. But, clearly, it should.

Read the whole funky press release here.

My boyfriend got me an iPod for Christmas. He told me he loaded all of "my music" on it, then laughed--apparently "my music," which occupies just half of one of the fifteen shelves worth of music in our house, barely made a dent in my new iPod's memory.

For about three months I wore it everywhere I went--on the bus, on airplanes, at the gym. Then... I stopped. My iPod has been sitting on my nightstand, untouched, for about two months now. Maybe longer. What happened?

I always thought I wasn't the iPod type. Now I know I'm not. Those first few months, though, made me wonder. I really enjoyed listening to my music walking around town. And I enjoyed plugging my earpuds in and blotting out the world. People leave you alone when you've got those things in you ears; they don't ask you inane questions on the bus, they don't strike up conversations on airplanes. That was nice.

But... after three months, man, I was sick of everything on my iPod. Sick of Liza and Vicki Carr, sick of Queen and the Beach Boys, sick of Company and Pacific Overtures and Follies. My pathetic half-a-shelf worth of music should have been the dead giveaway: I don't own enough music, I don't like enough music, to listen to the music I own and/or like 12 hours a day without quickly sickening of all of it. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has shitloads of music, and consequently never gets tired of listening to his iPod.

So my poor, neglected iPod sits on my nightstand, waiting for the day when I'm ready to hear a little VIcki again. It could be a while.

The Terrordactyls have finally released a full-length, and the packaging, just like their tender and simple bedroom pop, is utterly adorable. The CD case is, in fact, a mini pop-up picture.

I'm listening to the record for the first time right now, so I can't give you a complete and whole-hearted review of the disc, but it's more of what the duo did on their previous EP 80.5% Magic. That's fine with me, I like what they have going.

Right now a stand-out track is "Zombie Girl." It starts with a chorus of kids enthusiastically yelling "Yay!" and turns into a love letter to a girl who literally "tore out my heart" and "ate my hand." There are gentle la la las throughout, and the proclamation that Zombie Girl is the "most awesomest girl in my school." They also speak a little French in there, but I took German in high school, so I have no idea what they're saying.

I also like "Devices," a duet featuring Kimya Dawson—"You lift me up way into the clouds!" "You keep my feet firmly on the ground." "I feel like I'm floating each time that we kiss." "I beg of you, don't drift too far for your hugs I will miiiiss."

It's so sweet.

If you're curious, you can download the whole kazoo, xylophone, and handclap-filled record for free at the band's website. Ten bucks, will get you the real deal with the cute pop-up CD sleeve. And if that's not enough, a measly extra two dollars will win you a hand-drawn and customized turkey picture:

I'm not saying it's gonna change the world or anything, but U2 aside, who does that anymore?

Pretty lady Neko Case's skivvies are up on the auction block over on Ebay! How hot is that? Winner takes the '50s era bustier *AND* a beautiful 8 x 10 color photo by pretty lady, Seattle photographer Victoria Renard.

Partial proceeds from this sale will go to Greyt Expectations Greyhound Rescue in honor of Neko's own rescued greyhound....

God help me and my credit card—NYC boutique Other Music has finally opened its online digital download "store." What a refreshing change from iTunes or eMusic, to click on a service and see the Top Tracks right now include selections from Arthur Russell, Panda Bear, and Josef K. The pickings seem a little lean right now, but OM is promising "plenty of exclusives, rarities, great new music, and amazing reissues on the way" as they add new partners, and additional site features in the coming months.

The last time I went to Sonar, the artist I was most eager to see was Jeff Mills, one of techno's revered godfathers, he of the rapid-fire three-decks-plus-a-909 DJ sets, whose high-minded futurism and technical wizardry is widely imitated but rarely matched among contemporary producers. I'd heard bootlegs of his intense sets, seen videos of him throwing the fader to a new record every 25 seconds then throwing the old one over his shoulder, listened as others go all slack and drooly when recounting the last time they heard him play.

But when he finally came on the decks, all I could say was "Damn, that's a nice sweater." It's 3:30 a.m. and we're in an airplane hangar with 50,000 Spanish kids on E, and dude walks in wearing a lavender cardigan sweater. Granted, it was a minimal sweater -- his tastes tend to lean towards elegant simplicity masking unbelievable complexity, with pieces that look like a plain old pair of jeans until you realize they're limited edition Japanese techno trousers sewn by robots in a clean room and sold for ¥85000 at hyper-exclusive Tokyo boutiques only on even-numbered days. The man is a serious aesthete who loves his clothes.

So it's not at all surprising that he and his Axis Records partner Yoko Uozumi are now opening a clothing store. Collectors take note, you heard it here first. Skirts are the new records.

Last night at Neumos, amidst the giant, ridiculous photographs of the Saturday Knights, was one of the best pieces of merch/promotional material I've ever seen (honorable mention goes to Ratatat's foam "we're #1" hands): A Saturday Knights coloring book, entitled "The Luxury Pamphlet Coloring Book," that captures in inviting black and white all the humor and personality of the band. Check out some sample pages:

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what your promotional swag should look like.

I always assumed Kraftwerk would be the first electronic music pioneers to team with a brewery, but Japanese trio Yellow Magic Orchestra and Kirin have beaten them to it:

To see the TV commercial, go here and click on the yellow button in the lower right hand corner. The costumes and wigs are fantastic.

Good luck leaving a record store with any money left in your pocket today. Here's just a sample of what's being officially released January 23, 2007:

Tom Brosseau Grand Forks (Loveless)
Clinic Visitations (Domino)
Deerhoof Friend Opportunity (Kill Rock Stars)
Ghost Stories Quixoticism (Sonic Boom)
Menomena Friend and Foe (Barsuk)
Of Montreal Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? (Polyvinyl)
The Shins Wincing the Night Away (Sub Pop)

Our design director, Aaron Edge, does not believe this poster is good enough to be Poster of the Week:

HE IS WRONG! THIS IS THE BEST POSTER THIS WEEK! There is a gem coming out of her nose. It is a marvel of design and art. I love Nat Damm, but I am tired of his posters! I like this one!

In other news, if I controlled the world, there would be no war.