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Thursday, November 8, 2007

Coconut Coolouts Convoy

posted by on November 8 at 1:00 PM

Coconut Coolouts recently went out for a short tour and kept a diary of their adventures to share with us when they got home. Here it is, in all its barfing on walls, hanging out in tiki bars, fast-food gorging glory. Coconut Coolouts play Pony tonight with Partman Parthorse and PWRFL Power.

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Tyvek, Nice Smile, Coconut Coolouts

Day One:
The first show was at the Funhouse in Seattle with Tyvek and Nice Smile.

Nothing super exciting happened until after the show when we all came back to Lacey and Ruben's and drank more beer, ordered a pizza, and made each other pass out by choking each other like teenagers.

Day Two:
We went downtown to pick up Ross on our way to Portland. We pulled up next to him on the street and he immediately turned around and began gazing into an empty storefront without noticing that we were there. When he finally saw us he said, "Should I load my instrument in the rear?" and we laughed and laughed. We head out down I-5 and made out first stop--the Red Lobster in Federal Way for all you can eat everything. I mean, what the hell, right? Let's celebrate in style! We arrived in Portland to find that Dunes was not open yet so we headed down the street to Jiggles Hot Java to kill some time until we could finally get into the club. At 8 pm we were allowed into the Dunes and were told to leave our shit in the van until time to play because the place was so small.

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Pete and Lacey

Shortly after this it dawns on me that Popeye's is just down the street so Lacey heads over for a biscuit and some red beans and rice. Back at the Dunes everyone was still sitting around until 11pm when Nice Smile finally decided to play, after fruitlessly trying to tune the Bugs' drum. We play next and we're doing a pretty good job but everyone's spirits are crushed by a dude yelling about how the Bugs should play. Lacey, somewhat in amazement, ends up selling this guy a CD after we play and find out that he thought we were the Bugs--yeah! Spirits back up.

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Greco Roman Dudes

After we played we all went over to the dojo next door and took photos of Ian, Ross, and Pete pulling out some questionable wrestling moves on each other. No one got hurt but it looked totally real. After we loaded up we all went back to JJ's to crash. Ruben ended this night just like last time we were on tour--on mushrooms, playing drums, and barfing on the wall at dawn.

Day Three:
We get up far too early the next morning (considering Ruben's post-psychedelic haze and our general disinterest in being conscious) to drive to Davis. Bagel sandwiches for breakfast, a brush-off of the Tyveks' attempts at riding in our far more comfortable van and we're on our way. Driving sucks. Lunch was Dairy Queen, Taco Bell, Subway and Del Taco. This is when the Amazing Barnanas' (Ian's) hind quarters start to go completely haywire. We manage to make our only Lacey-requested rest stop at a porta-potty outside of a shack in the mountains in central Oregon. Ian manages to take a dump in the porta-potty before Lacey can get inside. Pete thinks it's fine, arguing that "once it hits the blue stuff it evaporates." Lacey disagrees.

After a lot more driving and somehow making a wrong turn on I-5 we finally manage to find our way to Davis. Davis seems tranquil, with a hint of girls-gone-wild edge. We note our approval of this by rolling down the van windows and playing DJ Assault as loud as we can as we make our way past campus. After eating a bag of jellybeans, Dr. Nuckinfutz (Ross) compulsively screams "Yo Quiero Blow Jobs" out the window. We find our way to the club, a house turned into restaurant/venue called Delta of Venus. Parking is nice as it allows us to have a serious conversation--with the giant jug of Early Times that'd been waiting for us in the back of the van. The venue is packed already as Tyvek is huge in Davis and we're also playing with local favorites the Bananas. We play first. We are really, really good. Then some other stuff happens that I don't quite remember. The other bands are real good too, but I may have been drunk.

(Keep reading, there's more involving unicorns getting arrested, pineapples dressing like people, and Teen Wolf.)

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