Gobin Cock (which is the best band name ever, by the way) say it right on their MySpace—they are “NOT A JOKE BAND, GODDAMMIT!!!” Right. So the tech-metal quintet, fronted by Pinback’s Rob Crow, was completely serious when they draped hooded cloaks over themselves last night and took the Funhouse stage amidst a thick cloud of fog and five blinding strobe lights (which, unfortunately, they left on FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING SHOW). Because they’re not a joke. The devil horns they haphazardly threw up throughout the set came from their black, metal hearts! And when the band first appeared on the stage disguised at their own guitar techs, wearing embroidered polo shirts and trucker hats that said stuff like “GOBLIN COCK Guitar Tech” and “GOBLIN COCK Bass Tech,” they weren’t messin’ around!

And, honestly, when Rob Crow, er, uh, I mean Lord Phallus barked into the heavily reverbed mic “Lord Phallus is having a fucked-up day. He had a root canal, then got on a plane that was late, and now his shoes are two sizes too big because the medication is not working,” not one person in the crowd should laugh.

Because Goblin Cock are not a joke. Goddammit.

But, I mean, Goblin Cock have to be a little bit of a joke, right? After seeing it live, the music isn’t good enough to be really real. It’s definitely not bad, Pinback is a technically impressive band, and Crow brings some of that same talent to this project as well, but the songs (which really do sound like the dude from Pinback playing in a metal band, if you can imagine that) feel slapped together. Like they needed some dark, metal-tinged rock to go with this crazy alt-personality idea they came up with.

And I’m all for that! I like to laugh, especially on a Monday night when the alternative is staying home and doing laundry while watching Fresh Prince re-runs! And last night, while watching Goblin Cock, I definitely got to laugh. But I also like to not have seizures at rock shows. So maybe next time, GC, y'all should turn off the strobes after the first couple songs. We get it—you’re dark and evil and you exist only in the shadows, but even the funniest, best intentioned jokes get old after staring into five strobe lights for 30 minutes.

Photos by robby1066 via Flickr.