You know what your problem is...you're one of those poor unfortunate asses who works some higgledy-piggledy swing-shift bullshit job, and your "Friday" or "Saturday" is really on a Monday or whatever. Which, as all of us who have worked higgledy-piggledy swing-shift bullshit jobs will gleefully inform you, completely sucks the balls of a donkey. You poor son's-a-bitches. You miss all the good weekend happenings! (I've been there.) But stop your whining! Tonight you are the luckiest son's-a-bitches in the world (especially if you are a big fag)...because TONIGHT is THIS:

YES! All of the greatest Comeback stars (and you know Comeback happens only once a month and only on a FRIDAY, so you're always working...) like DJ Colby B and Ponyboy (and more!) come out tonight (Monday!!) to groove their singular Comebacky deliciousness all over Chop Suey. The event starts EARLY (8:00pm! HURRY!), but that's really just to accommodate folks who have to get up in the morning. (Losers.) So, make haste! Shimmy into your skinny pants, sharpen those dancing boots, because tonight is COMEBACK, and this time, it's PHYSICAL!

(Ah and it's for a good cause—something about HIV vaccines? Well, if it's one thing we all want, it's less AIDS.)

FREE! CHOP SUEY! (1325 East Madison Street.) Doors at 8! Go! Go! GO!

UPDATE! And, of course, the brilliant and dashing DJ FUCKING IN THE STREETS! will be spinning too, and how, sweet Jesus, oh, HOW, the hell could I have forgotten to mention that? (Say, "Because you've been baked as a Pillsbury pound cake since March of 2001," and I might just slap you for telling the truth. And you do know of course that I predicted he'd become Stranger Music Editor, like, three years before it actually happened? Fucking in the Streets? Well. I'm a WITCH. That's what.)

Now, GO!

Tonight, legendary soul musician Booker T plays the Triple Door:

Booker T

When musical legends tour in their twilight years, it's usually under sad, financially desperate circumstances—or to promote a new (usually mediocre) album. As keyboardist for Booker T. & the MGs (the house band for Stax Records), Booker T. Jones helmed one of the tightest soul units ever. Their verve and funkiness endure on his vital new disc, Potato Hole, on which Drive-By Truckers and Neil Young back sexagenarian Booker and his expressive Hammond B3. Even the "Hey Ya" cover smokes. (Triple Door, 216 Union St, 838-4333. 7:30 pm, $25 adv/$30 DOS, all ages.) DAVE SEGAL

Gojira, the Chariot, Car Bomb

(El Corazón) French quartet Gojira make medium-sized waves in death-metal's turbid, roiling waters. Uvula-corroding vocals pepper their Sturm-und-Drang klang; the sound is heavy and ponderous, striving for a heroic muscularity, which it sometimes achieves. New York's Car Bomb thrash more frenetically than Gojira, and their vocals—by Michael Dafferner—attain a more strenuous, on-the-verge-of-vomiting tenor, which in death-metal terms equals deeper artistic commitment, I believe. (If your singer can still talk after a gig, he/she fails, right?) Car Bomb bassist Jon Modell informs that "we have a bunch of new material we will be debuting, and our show is crazier than ever." DAVE SEGAL

And there's always more in our complete, searchable music events calendar.