Line Out Music & the City at Night
The Stranger Suggests
Critics' Best Bets
Music Arts & Food
Slog
News & Arts
@SEAshowsTwitter feed of Seattle shows on sale now
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Song / ??!! Squick Songs
Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Jun 11, 2009 at 1:15 PM
I'm working on a piece about Marc Bamuthi Joseph's hiphop theater piece The Break/s—opening next week at ACT Theatre—and last night while I was making dinner, I put on some Kurtis Blow, to reconnect with the play's kinda-namesake, which also happens to be one of the greatest songs ever made. (I hate it when Ma Bell sends me a whopping bill with 18 phone calls to Brazil, and I'm glad someone addressed this in song. Also, the first 16 seconds alone guarantee the track's stature as an eternal classic.)
But this post isn't about "The Breaks," but the Kurtis Blow track that came up right after: "Basketball," which I was enjoying until my guy Jake came in the kitchen with this squicked-out look on his face. Upon questioning, Jake revealed that the song had been the theme for a local station's sports broadcast during his childhood, and that the female-vocal hook line—"We're playin' BAS...KET...Bawlllll..."—has always made him sick. "I don't mean I hate the song so much I want to puke," Jake explained. "I mean the sound of the song literally makes me queasy." (Interested parties can hear the squick-making sounds of "Basketball" here.)
What's more, this isn't the first song that's been semi-banned from audible-by-Jake broadcast—the squishy wet synth beats of the Magnetic Fields' "Fido, Your Leash Is Too Long" also have the weird power to turn his stomach, and are forbidden.
I understand and empathize, as there are certainly tracks that squick me out—most recently, a couple of intros or outros or whatever on Lil Wayne's Da Drought 3, where he delivers information with what sounds like a jawbreaker in his mouth, which he sucks and slurps and clacks around his mouth while he speaks. SQUIIIIIIIIICK! (Also, the Beatles' "Don't Pass Me By," whose puke-inducing qualities are underscored by its status as the worst song the Beatles ever put their collective name on.)
And now we turn to you, dear readers: What songs make you literally want to puke?
2
'Cotton Eyed Joe' by the Rednex is my clutch most vile song ever answer. Sometimes I try to forget it exists, but it hurts too much when you remember it again.
3
Billy Joel's "Big Shot." It's complicated, but in a nutshell, when I hear it I want to go back in time and murder his parents.
4
Funny thing about "Big Shot": My mom listened to a lot of Billy Joel when I was a kid, like 5-8 years old, and "Big Shot" was one of my favorites, even though a song about getting loaded and shooting your mouth off shouldn't have resonated with me at all (AT THE TIME). Maybe it was that terribly nagging melody on the chorus? Guh.
5
Haha. Sorry to retroactively puke on your youth, Eric.
Actually, Joel's anti-"new wave" song might be even more vomit-worthy. What's it called—"It's Still Rock & Roll to Me"? Whining about your irrelevance is unbecoming in a multi-millionaire.
Actually, Joel's anti-"new wave" song might be even more vomit-worthy. What's it called—"It's Still Rock & Roll to Me"? Whining about your irrelevance is unbecoming in a multi-millionaire.
6
Some will consider Billy bashing an easy, derailing focus of these responses (hey, Chuck C.!), but "Don't Ask Me Why" and especially the really odious "You May Be Right" ("I MAY BE crazy! I'm the kind of lunatic you're looking FOR!") give me the queasies. And I'm usually more forgiving of old BJ (best friend I grew up with really liked him; kind of have a soft spot for "Pressure").
8
Franz Ferdinand, Well That Was Easy:
"I watched you clean the filth off your phone dial
Swallowing the things your finger picked up
Tongue, your tongue
I watched your tongue licking on"
Those lyrics, coupled with the way the tempo speeds up and slows down have always turned my stomach. Oddly enough, I still enjoy the song.
"I watched you clean the filth off your phone dial
Swallowing the things your finger picked up
Tongue, your tongue
I watched your tongue licking on"
Those lyrics, coupled with the way the tempo speeds up and slows down have always turned my stomach. Oddly enough, I still enjoy the song.
11
Rilo Fucking Kiley's "Portions for Foxes":
"The talking leads to touching
The touching leads to sex
And then there is no mystery left."
Just so nauseatingly on-the-nose.
(Yes, Mr. Schmader, I know you think that's the point. I disagree, but either way, it doesn't change the fact that it makes me ill to hear those awful, awful lines. Interestingly, this effect has only increased with time.)
"The talking leads to touching
The touching leads to sex
And then there is no mystery left."
Just so nauseatingly on-the-nose.
(Yes, Mr. Schmader, I know you think that's the point. I disagree, but either way, it doesn't change the fact that it makes me ill to hear those awful, awful lines. Interestingly, this effect has only increased with time.)
13
The golden oldie "Dizzy" by Tommy Roe! My mom liked to listen to the oldies station (all moms listen to the oldies station) and one day in the car this came on and I immediately started feeling sick to my stomach and yes - dizzy. It has a weird, subtle key and tempo change thing throughout the song that I just can't stand. I am guessing that's somewhat intentional considering the lyrical content, but II find it hard to believe that this song is tolerable by anybody for those reasons.
14
While it doesn't make me feel nauseated, I do agree that "Basketball" is a terrible track and it blows my mind (in a bad way) whenever I hear it get played at parties.
"What's Going On" might be awful enough to upset my stomach, if I were to be confined to a small room and forced to listen to the entire song. Also, some tracks by Primus (remember them?) have some squicky bass noises that make me feel a little seasick. Ween's "Chocolate and Cheese" makes me feel sick only because those are two great tastes that do not taste great together (I've never actually listened to that album so I can't comment on its musical quality).
"What's Going On" might be awful enough to upset my stomach, if I were to be confined to a small room and forced to listen to the entire song. Also, some tracks by Primus (remember them?) have some squicky bass noises that make me feel a little seasick. Ween's "Chocolate and Cheese" makes me feel sick only because those are two great tastes that do not taste great together (I've never actually listened to that album so I can't comment on its musical quality).
15
Not to pile on Billy Joel -- OK, let's pile on fucking Billy Joel -- but "We Didn't Start The Fire" is, for me, a puke standout. He's trying to sound so smart while saying exactly nothing.
17
"When the Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney and Uncle Kracker
Each very vomit-inducing on his own, Kenny Chesney and Uncle Kracker team up to make the worst, most sickening song I've ever heard. If I hear 2 chords of that piece of shit song I get so angry I literally want to start breaking things and my head feels like it is going to explode. I feel like this song is the elixer that brings out my Mr. Hyde.
I will die a happy man if I never hear that song again.
Each very vomit-inducing on his own, Kenny Chesney and Uncle Kracker team up to make the worst, most sickening song I've ever heard. If I hear 2 chords of that piece of shit song I get so angry I literally want to start breaking things and my head feels like it is going to explode. I feel like this song is the elixer that brings out my Mr. Hyde.
I will die a happy man if I never hear that song again.
18
My Own Worst Enemy
Aretha Franklin
Mustang Sally
George Thurogood
Benny and the Jets
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Man in the Box
Bullet with Butterfly wings
Aretha Franklin
Mustang Sally
George Thurogood
Benny and the Jets
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Man in the Box
Bullet with Butterfly wings
20
The Cranberries - Dream
It gives me the worst headaches. Just watching a few seconds, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9AE8QQfx…, made my head start throbbing.
It gives me the worst headaches. Just watching a few seconds, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9AE8QQfx…, made my head start throbbing.
22
Mine is Billy Joel too- Piano Man. My college roommate played piano and sang that song EVERY fucking time he was near one. Which, being a musical theater major, was ALL the fucking time. I can't listen to it ever again.
Old Time Rock and Roll makes me cringe too.
Old Time Rock and Roll makes me cringe too.
23
Another one for me, that's kind of embarrassing, because I love the band and the host record, but My Bloody Valentine's "Cupid Come" (aka track number three on Isn't Anything) has always made me queasy enough to stop listening listening to the record, or at least skip directly to Loveless. The problem with "Cupid Come" (besides the angelic/NAMBLA connotations of the title) is the totally facile and klutzy collision of vocal and guitar melodies during the verses, i.e. what you hear between 00:36 and 00:50, which is repeated many times and SQUIIIICCCCCCK.
25
I love Fido, Your Leash is Too Long! But, two songs from 69 Love Songs do squick me out:
I Shatter- The one song on the album I've never listened to all the way through. As soon as that too-deep-to-be-human bizarro voice starts signing, I get a weird shudder, go "gaaah!!" and skip to the next track.
Abigail, Belle of Kilronan- I love this song, but the deep, pulsing sounds that are out-of-sync on the left and right make me dizzy trying to listen to it in stereo. It's like having someone talking in your left ear, and another person repeating everything they say, one second delayed, in your right ear.
I Shatter- The one song on the album I've never listened to all the way through. As soon as that too-deep-to-be-human bizarro voice starts signing, I get a weird shudder, go "gaaah!!" and skip to the next track.
Abigail, Belle of Kilronan- I love this song, but the deep, pulsing sounds that are out-of-sync on the left and right make me dizzy trying to listen to it in stereo. It's like having someone talking in your left ear, and another person repeating everything they say, one second delayed, in your right ear.
26
Bad to the Bone. After being forced to listen to it almost 8 times a day for 3 months due to the Muzak at the movie theater I worked at when I was 15......ugh. It gives me nightmares. *shudder* Would you like popcorn with that?
27
"Wayward Son" by Boston. I actually like the song, but whenever I hear it I feel sick. Who knows.
29
"Pina Coladas" - Jimmy Buffet
Granted, I'd feel like a lucky man if I found a woman who liked getting caught in the rain, who's not into yoga, but has half brain, who likes making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape, who's not much in health food, but is into champagne. I just might throw up on her dress when they play this song at our wedding.
Granted, I'd feel like a lucky man if I found a woman who liked getting caught in the rain, who's not into yoga, but has half brain, who likes making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape, who's not much in health food, but is into champagne. I just might throw up on her dress when they play this song at our wedding.
30
My Morning Jacket, "Highly Suspicious."
WTF were they thinking? I don't know if I want to vomit but it's visceral and I certainly want to hit something, usually just the "next" button.
That chorus, that crazy laugh track the falsetto. Unbridled shit, pure and simple.
WTF were they thinking? I don't know if I want to vomit but it's visceral and I certainly want to hit something, usually just the "next" button.
That chorus, that crazy laugh track the falsetto. Unbridled shit, pure and simple.
32
"I've Never Been to Me"
Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me
-hurghhlhgghchhh!
Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me
-hurghhlhgghchhh!
33
I am hurl ready any time I hear "You Light Up My Life" by Debbie Boone. I love Manilow long time, but "I Write the Songs" makes me apoplectic, as does "Can't Smile Without You." I mean find something to do without her/him already! Man the EFF Up. I like Celine, except I'm nearly thrown into convulsions when I hear "My Heart Will Go On', and I nearly went blind due to retina mutiny the ONE time I watched her render that heart thumping performance of it. Anything that come out of Britney Spears or Jessica Simpleton. Don't even get me started on GaGa. It's more like DooDoo.
35
Anything by Gordon Lightfoot, but especially "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". And I normally have a boner for ANYTHING in three. But that one just makes me hurl.
36
@33,
They made us sing "You Light Up My Life" at my 6th grade graduation. I improvised off-color lyrics, the only one of which I can remember is "You give me hope, to shoot dope."
Other audio Ipecac selections for me would include "Jackie Blue" and "Brand New Key."
But yeah, most anything by Billy Joel and Celine Dion would certainly make the list, too.
They made us sing "You Light Up My Life" at my 6th grade graduation. I improvised off-color lyrics, the only one of which I can remember is "You give me hope, to shoot dope."
Other audio Ipecac selections for me would include "Jackie Blue" and "Brand New Key."
But yeah, most anything by Billy Joel and Celine Dion would certainly make the list, too.
37
We Built This City - Starship
Took me a second to recall, but definitely a gag reflex.
Once paid a DJ in Mexico to play something else instead:
"OK. Right after." No - showed him the cash "Now."
Took me a second to recall, but definitely a gag reflex.
Once paid a DJ in Mexico to play something else instead:
"OK. Right after." No - showed him the cash "Now."
39
Tom Waits "Waltzing Matilda".
Twice, I've been on long trips, falling asleep in the wee hours of morning, while the driver played Tom Waits. There's enough of a pause in the chorus that I could fall asleep for a second and my head would slump. Then I'd be woken up by that horrid voice, "WAAAAltsing Mah-TIIIIL-Dah" and my head would jerk up again.
As a result of that, I become physically sick at the sound of that song. It's sorta like the Ludwig Van in "Clockwork Orange".
Twice, I've been on long trips, falling asleep in the wee hours of morning, while the driver played Tom Waits. There's enough of a pause in the chorus that I could fall asleep for a second and my head would slump. Then I'd be woken up by that horrid voice, "WAAAAltsing Mah-TIIIIL-Dah" and my head would jerk up again.
As a result of that, I become physically sick at the sound of that song. It's sorta like the Ludwig Van in "Clockwork Orange".
40
its because everyone is conditioned, after getting wasted at the crescent and hearing billie joe too many times, to feel nauseous.
41
@27 If you mean "Carry On O Wayward Son," that's Kansas, not Boston.
But speaking of Boston: More than 25 years after it was a hit, a song called "Please Come to Boston" by, if I recall correctly, Dave Loggins, still has the power to sicken me.
But speaking of Boston: More than 25 years after it was a hit, a song called "Please Come to Boston" by, if I recall correctly, Dave Loggins, still has the power to sicken me.
42
ugh, Something To Do With My Hands by Her Space Holiday turned me off of everything by the band, I can't listen to anything they do because of these lines:
I'll do my best to keep you, keep you sleepy as the south
With my old watch on your wrist
And my thumbs inside your mouth
Suck on my fingertips until you kill all my prints
So your boyfriend has no clue
Of how much I've been touching you
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWBARF!
I'll do my best to keep you, keep you sleepy as the south
With my old watch on your wrist
And my thumbs inside your mouth
Suck on my fingertips until you kill all my prints
So your boyfriend has no clue
Of how much I've been touching you
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWBARF!
44
The Steve Miller Band - Abracadabra (the reach out and grab ya line creeps me the eff out and makes me feel gross.)
Offspring - Pretty Fly for a White Guy (the uh-huh part is also creepy and i also feel disgusting.)
Offspring - Pretty Fly for a White Guy (the uh-huh part is also creepy and i also feel disgusting.)
46
dooby dooby dut dut dut, ahaa ah. NO MORE I LOVE YOU'S by Annie Lennox can't be beat. And those Minnie Mouse ears.......
47
Man, reading this thread was an AWESOME idea for tonight, when I wanted to go to bed with two dozen terrible songs stuck in my head.
(Not that I shouldn't have seen it coming.)
Mine is the opening chimes to NPR's "All Things Considered." You know, that fifteen-note chime? Dum-DUM-dum-dum, dum-DUM-dum-dum. DUM-dum-DUM-dum dum-Dum-DUM! I love "All Things Considered," but years of growing up, listening to "All Things Considered" in the back of the car, busy getting carsick, has developed a pretty visceral gag reflex when the show plays those chimes.
(Not that I shouldn't have seen it coming.)
Mine is the opening chimes to NPR's "All Things Considered." You know, that fifteen-note chime? Dum-DUM-dum-dum, dum-DUM-dum-dum. DUM-dum-DUM-dum dum-Dum-DUM! I love "All Things Considered," but years of growing up, listening to "All Things Considered" in the back of the car, busy getting carsick, has developed a pretty visceral gag reflex when the show plays those chimes.
Most Commented on Line Out
-
Ongoing List of Defunct Seattle Clubs by Grant Brissey
-
What Do You Think Of Tom Cruise's "Rockin' New Look?" by Kelly O
-
UPDATE: Bumbershoot to Skip Flatstock This Year[?] by Grant Brissey
-
What You're Not Wearing: Fuck Yeah, Fashionistas!!! by Timothy Rysdyke
-
Have You Seen This Bass? by Dave Segal
-
chicBuds: EARO OR ZERO? by Dave Segal
-
Not Stayin' Alive by Goldy
-
Bad Brains and Homophobia by Charles Mudede
-
Also Tonight in Music: Avengers at Funhouse by Grant Brissey
-
Today in Funny: Hannibal Buress and Aziz Ansari by Grant Brissey
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (47) RSS