The Up and Coming for the Germs show last night:

(Neumos) Look, don't even sweat it that the Germs have replaced Darby Crash with a 31-year-old Hollywood actor named Shane West who starred in that reverent, dull movie about Darby Crash last year. Never mind the children dressed like 1977 and the creaky old geezers like Jello Biafra and Fat Mike who are whining that that's disrespectful or inauthentic. Darby Crash was the opposite of authenticity—he was a Ziggy Stardust fan, a fabulist and epic liar who burned up his life trying to turn it into myth. So some buffed and blow-dried Hollywood type with nice skin and well-tended teeth wants to step into the shoes Jan Paul Beahm willfully vacated almost 30 years ago? I'm not so sure Darby Crash would've disapproved. BRENDAN KILEY

The reader response:

If darby was alive today he would've had one of his minions give you a germs burn on your eyeball and laughed his ass off while you whined. dick.

An email from my little brother time-stamped 6:26 am:

Just spent a handful of hours w/ Don Bolles (drummer for the Germs). It was pretty awesome and he was really cool. I told him about your review... totally dug what you were saying... feels the same way... Also told him about your x-mas gift of Germicide to me and how it led me down the merry, wayward path.

The new Darby, sadly, didn't do right by his idol because he tried to imitate the old Darby. He looked like an actor, not someone who's seized the Darby Crash mantle and run into the sunset. He should've had his own costume, his own singing style, maybe do Manimal with a string quartet. Instead, he was just not-Darby.

But the scene was still weird and fun. One rumor: "That's Kurt Cobain's mom Wendy and sister Kimberly."

The real action was on the sidewalk, where young punks who couldn't (or wouldn't) pay to go in watched the band through the door, sang along and then heckled, and debated the merits of trying to crash past the bouncer.

One guy: "If he really wanted to be Darby Crash, he should've shown up with needles in his arms."

One dude to his friend: "Go in and rush the door."

The friend: "Then I'd just be following your instructions."

The best part: When Nü-Darby tried to give a shout-out to the punks on the sidewalk. "Hey you guys on the patio? Does it sound better back there?"

"Sounds like shit!" one of the sidewalk punks said. "Unlearn how to play your instruments!"

More photos, all by Kelly O of course, after the jump.