At around 8:30 last night at the Funhouse, anticipation was in the air and spirits were high. There was already a pretty packed crowd out on the patio watching a couple people play a pick-up game. Macklemore, wearing the ratty mullet wig and mustache he uses for his right-winger lampooning, a striped shirt, and a whistle around his neck, was ready to ref. Between the night's performers and the assembled crowd, a good chunk of Seattle's hip hop scene was in attendance. Pre-game, both Terry Radjaw and Sir Thomas Gray expressed confidence in their games; P-Smoov, like a 206 Don King, guaranteed that Radjaw was going to get out on the court and just "tear Thomas' beard off piece by piece."

The players took the court to huge cheers, and Macklemore explained the rules: the game would be to 21, winner has to be up by two points. After a couple kind of leisurely long shots scored by Gray, the crowd started to get kind of restless, people shouting, "Y'all wanna change it to 11?" and "Next on to score!" But Gray and Radjaw picked up the pace a little, the game got a little more physical and aggressive, and the crowd kept with it, factions alternately chanting, "Raaaad-Jaw" and "Souuuuuth-End." On the sidelines, the men of Mad Rad were grinning and mugging while wearing fake beards, running out onto the court when Radjaw scored his first layup. Gray and Radjaw were doing their share of mean mugging between shots as well, Radjaw pinching his shirt up off his chest like it was expensive, Gray grinning maliciously or making a throat-cut motion with his finger.

At one point, someone in the crowd shouted, "Yo, ref, get that dog off the court!" And it wasn't just trash talk—someone's dog had actually wandered onto the court, disrupting play. The dog's owner, a crusty punk with a Dirt patch on his knee, got his dog back and skulked to the back of the crowd. (There was maybe a little bit of a culture clash occurring between the Funhouse regulars and the Beard-Off crowd.) At this point, Radjaw was ahead by maybe like 5 points, and someone in the crowd observed, "Radjaw can't believe he's winning, and Thomas can't believe he's losing." As Gray came back to even the score at 9, people shouted, NBA Jam style, "he's heating up!" and "he's on fire!" Thomas was sweating profusely through his "Skyway" shirt; the crowd was chanting, "Sky-hook." Radjaw pulled ahead again, 16-10 (?), and then they took a time out to rehydrate. During the downtime, Macklemore landed a real casual looking one-handed hook without hardly looking at the hoop, running his fingers through his mullet afterwards to great applause.

The game resumed, and Gray came back hard. In seemingly moments, the score was turned to 20-18, in Gray's favor. Smoov hopped down to pat Radjaw's back. The crowd chanted "Southend" and "Radjaw." And then Gray scored the winning point and all hell broke loose, folks rushing the court, Macklemore shouting, "Give it up, everybody! Bring on the clippers," Mad Rad tossing their fake beards into the basketball hoop, clogging it, the crowd chanting, "shave that beard!" After getting an extension cord run out to the court, Gray went to work, Radjaw putting on a strong face while Gray buzzed off chunks of his beard. The crowd formed a tight circle around the real action of the night, with an inner ring of flashing cameras and folks shooting video (you will see plenty of footage of this event, trust). Some people, possibly Mad Rad, shouted, "Let him keep his 'stache!" But Gray left him with an almost Charlie Chaplin thin tuft of lip hair.

The wrap-up? Pearl from Champagne Champagne: "We all win. We all on the same team, it's just good hype." Damian Hayes of BLVD Gallery: "Somewhere, there's an empty Cha Cha right now."

(more photos after the jump)