Ugh, how embarrassing is it that my first thought when my cell phone blipped from August to September was, "Fame (2009) opens September 25th!" Why am I so excited about a film I'm already predisposed to dislike?

Fame (2009) is a "reinvention" (their words, not mine) of Fame, the hit movie from 1980, which follows a diverse group of students at a fictionalized version of New York City's LaGuardia High School of the Performing Arts from their placement audition through to graduation. The film won two Oscars, inspired countless children of the 80s to move to NYC (ahem) and spawned a series of hit songs that are still vaguely familiar today.

So, I have to ask: do you really need to re-make a film that's less than 30 years old? They're dancing to electronic music on a taxi cab; it's not like they're doing the Charleston on a Model T Ford. It's not like it was filmed in black and white.

The original Fame is gritty, rambling (the 134 minutes engross, but don't exactly fly by), crass (this is New York City, after all) but still full of flush-cheeked idealism. These kids have dreams, people! And real talent! Oh yeah, and they're also grappling with life stuff— you know, illiteracy, interracial dating, addiction, abortion, coming out and getting taken advantage of sexually— all of which are still shockingly relevant issues today and yet SOMEHOW LIKELY TO BE STRANGELY ABSENT FROM FAME (2009).

And what is Fame, really, without Irene Cara sucking her thumb and crying?

A recent Entertainment Tonight segment (viewable on YouTube) gushes about how the film has been modernized and made relevant for today— "This is a new century, with new students... This is not 1980 anymore!"— while claiming the film is still gritty, dealing with the real issues teenagers face. They then show a clip from Fame (2009) of a character whining "I have too much work to do after school." Uh...

Fame (2009) looks an awful lot like High School Musical— you know, production values so high that everything looks really squeaky, i.e. kind of fake, none of the sets look lived-in, the costume design is so generic it washes otherwise potentially talented newcomers of any personality, the dialogue reeks of after-school special and the so-called "most talented kid in the school" appears to be doing mediocre Britney back-up rip-offs (whereas in the original Fame we had choreography by Louis Falco, a breathtaking ballet variation from Antonia Franceschi and a sexy-as-fuck audition "improv" from Gene Anthony Ray.)

Comparing the two trailers is unfair. The corny voiceover kind of mars the original and while its photography is far more interesting than the re-make, it lacks the visual dazzle 2009 can provide. But let's take a look, shall we? Starting with the 2009 trailer and then rewinding to 1980...

Whereas the original has the feel of an independent film despite its MGM pedigree, the re-make seems less of a remake of Fame and more of a remake of Hilary Duff's Raise Your Voice.

Or put differently, the original is quintessential New York, the re-make is unfortunately Hollywood.

I'm sure I'll hate it. Only 24 days until it comes out! Can't wait!!!