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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Spurm: On Valentines

Posted by on Thu, Feb 11, 2010 at 2:28 PM

spurm.jpg
Spurm is a Seattle band. Spurm is a whodunit. Spurm is girded. Spurm is a girding forth from the loins, making loinal rock. Spurm is a sextet with a sax, and their sound is a basement brand of prog, punky, sing-song gird-tunes. Jordan T. Adams, Trent T.V. Coahran, Shig, Ian Dugas, Gary Smith, and Mike Ni do what they do, and they do it well. Gird, a verb, means: 1. To prepare yourself for conflict or vigorous activity. 2. To put a girdle or belt around yourself or another person. 3. To secure something to yourself with a belt, straps, or a girdle. 4. To surround or encompass something. And 5. To provide somebody with or dress somebody in something that is a sign of rank or honor.


Quantcast

Spurm member and Bikram yoga instructor Gary Smith (who is also in Partman Parthorse) met me at a sperm bank on 25th Ave. NE. The interview lasted four minutes. Gary wore a red jumpsuit:

What piece of gear does Spurm love?
Gary: Trent's vocoder keyboard. It makes prog punk sound like 80's dance funk. Even his Electronic voice is full of emotion. You see, a vocoder is really a voice encoder, where the signal passes through a multiband filter, and an envelope follower, and the control signals from the envelope followers are communicated to a decoder.

So what you are saying is that it girds forth?
Yes. The vocoder is where our girding comes from.

How does Spurm get the Spurm sound?
We're dudes man. This is what dudes sound like.

If there was a Spurm Hallmark Valentines card, what would be on it?
Our singer Jordan T. Adams.

What is the perfect Spurm romantic Valentines scene?
Tight pants . Big boners. Pretty girls. And bales of hay. Plus food, steak, and Mary Jane. And horror movies. And red wine.

What does Spurm do to find love?
They fights millions of other Spurms to the death and then eat the eggs.

If Spurm were cologne, what would it smell like?
Sour beer, insulation, and roses.

Where does Spurm come from?

Lets do word association. I'll say a word, you say the first thing that comes to mind:

Jacuzzi
Wet boobs

Cognac
Warm boobs

Roses
Soft flower like vaginas

Swimming
Nude

Canal
Birth

Sushi
Vagina

Riesling
Dark chocolate

Jelly
Fish, vajayjay

Musk
Gross

Musk Ox
Grosser

Spurm play Feb. 19th at the Comet with the Pharmacy, Kids and Animals, Broken Nobles, and DJ Scribbles.

 

Comments (13) RSS

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1
Bonus points for using the word 'vajayjay', dude.
Posted by Yr Skull on February 11, 2010 at 2:59 PM · Report this
2
Kids and Animals are on the bill as well!
Posted by Ashley KK on February 11, 2010 at 8:29 PM · Report this
3
The jacuzzi-cognac, wet boobs warm boobs quick answer round just made me laugh snot out my nose.
Posted by TerryRJ on February 11, 2010 at 9:59 PM · Report this
4
And the musk - musk ox finale is where I thought you'd never go.

Brilliance.
Posted by TerryRJ on February 11, 2010 at 10:01 PM · Report this
Trent Moorman 5
Thanks Ashley. Sorry bout that.
Posted by Trent Moorman on February 12, 2010 at 1:22 AM · Report this
Radjaw 6
yes! hilarious. Spurm is great
Posted by Radjaw http://www.radjaw.com on February 12, 2010 at 8:59 AM · Report this
Pat Boone 7
I don't find such a departure from decency and the destruction of our country by these hooligans funny at all. In fact, I get very upset when I hear you kids using language like that, naming a music group after your sexual parts.

I didn't dodge Charlie's bullets in the Mekong Delta to watch my country be destroyed by perverts.

Terrible work
Posted by Pat Boone on February 12, 2010 at 2:13 PM · Report this
Pat Boone 8
Trent Moorman
socialism
Posted by Pat Boone on February 12, 2010 at 2:17 PM · Report this
Pat Boone 9
Trent Moorman
socialism
Posted by Pat Boone on February 12, 2010 at 2:18 PM · Report this
Pat Boone 10
Trent Moorman
socialism
Posted by Pat Boone on February 12, 2010 at 2:18 PM · Report this
Trent Moorman 11
Pat, you are absolutely right. Shame on these people. Shame on vocoders.

Pat, you light up my life. I love you with all my heart and sperm.
Posted by Trent Moorman on February 12, 2010 at 2:29 PM · Report this
Pat Boone 12
Try Loving Jesus, but not with sperm.
Posted by Pat Boone on February 12, 2010 at 2:38 PM · Report this
13
Cognac - Warm boobs. Sushi - Vagina. Trent Moorman - Socialism.
Posted by Samanthal on February 14, 2010 at 5:32 PM · Report this

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