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Thursday, July 29, 2010

??!! / Television / Teh Internets Credit Where It Isn't Due

Posted by Jason Baxter on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 3:00 PM

Man, oh man. These new “Freecreditscore.com” bands. For those not in the know (or wisely abstinent from daytime cable TV), Freecreditscore.com—formerly Freecreditreport.com, I guess—used to run a series of ads, for years, that featured a Canadian band singing about the necessity of knowing one’s credit score. The songs were pretty irritating, but (back me up on this) capable of staying lodged in your head for days, like plaque building up on the inside of an artery. There was the one about living in your in-laws’ basement, the one about taking a job at the renaissance faire, the one on the roller coaster, the one where they’re pirates for some reason…

Anyway, recently the company ditched that band and decided to try some buzzword-laded new marketing strategy (picture a suit calling it “interactive” and “social media-aware”) where viewers can vote on what band should pick up the, uh, “mantle” of shilling for Freecreditscore.com with their own fresh and vexatious lyrical bon mots. And these bands—now down to the final four—are awful. Really awful. It wouldn’t even be worth getting angry over if those older adverts hadn’t made such a hideously deep and lasting impression on my brain.

You can click here to sample some of the newbies’ wares, at your own peril. As would befit a descent into hell, first you will be treated to a goat wearing a pirate hat clomping around on an empty digital stage. You’re welcome.

Comments (13) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Thanks. Now I have that song stuck in my head.

F-R-E-E that spells free, credit report dot com, baby.

Posted by care bear on July 29, 2010 at 3:29 PM

You bastard; I can't believe I just sat through those. BUT I will say that the last one wasn't bad, in a Ben Foldsy power-pop kinda way. If I trusted freecreditwhateverdotwhatever with my e-mail address, I would vote for them.

Posted by Levislade

on July 29, 2010 at 4:24 PM

i don't give a shit about their ads, but i have serious issues with their sketchy business practices. they will rob you blind and then tell you it was for your own good.

Posted by blip on July 29, 2010 at 4:42 PM

freecreditscore.com. What a shady fucking organization.

First, it's not free.

Second, everyone is already entitled to receive their credit score for free on a different site.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on July 29, 2010 at 5:04 PM

Basically, it's a $180-a-year "service" to learn a number that you can learn for free on a government-mandated website, calculated by obscure means that will not be shared with you, which shifts the onus of keeping your identity from being stolen from your bank (which, as you may recall from the distant past, was at one point supposed to be a safe place to keep your money rather than a parasite on your life) to you.

Even without all that, though, those songs are a fucking war crime.

Posted by Fistique on July 29, 2010 at 5:25 PM

You can't get your credit score free, but you are legally entitled to your credit report once per year, per bureau. Go to https://www.annualcreditreport.com, it's the legit site you'll find this at.

Trick is, just view one bureau's report at a time—select Experian (for example), you could return 4 months later and view Equifax's, and so on, effectively giving you the ability to monitor your credit 3 times a year, for free.

Posted by Dougsf on July 29, 2010 at 5:26 PM

My credit union here in town runs them for free and I check it a couple of times a year...no charge and no problem.

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on July 29, 2010 at 5:33 PM

Fuck.... awaiting the credit score result is worse than a STD screening.

Posted by JF on July 29, 2010 at 5:34 PM

Those songs were always so mean-spirited, too - in the vein of: I met he girl of my dreams and married her, and by doing so I fucked up my credit. Now we have to live in someone's basement. That and other songs were pretty fucked-up in the message department. Left me with the felling of, "Why you thoughtless, unfeeling bastards."

Posted by Bauhaus I on July 29, 2010 at 6:43 PM

I feel compelled to point out that the "band" shown on TV was not the band that actually sang the songs. But I agree, they were more catchy than the new crap.

Maybe Eric Violette (the actor portraying the lead singer) was just tired of the prospect that he would forever be known as the freecreditreport.com pirate.

Posted by madcap on July 30, 2010 at 1:44 AM

Haha commercials, I havent seen one of those in a looooooong time.

Also you can just fake a credit report.

Posted by Fenrox on July 30, 2010 at 7:48 AM

@10 enlightening. I guess it's good that a real band will be the shills now?

Posted by Jason Baxter on July 30, 2010 at 10:34 AM

Can you bring back the band that had actual talent and with a wink and a nod still was able to sell the product that they were shilling for? The original band was funny-the new ones are just a joke.

Posted by LALALALA on August 1, 2010 at 10:02 AM