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Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Win It! Liz Phair Poetry: The Finalists!
Posted by Megan Seling on Tue, Oct 12, 2010 at 3:04 PM
Okay! Earlier today we challenged you to come up with your best Liz Phair haikus for a chance to win tickets to tonight's show at the Crocodile. You didn't have much time, but some of you folks sure are clever under pressure!
Here are the five finalists. Now, read 'em all, then vote for your favorite. Whichever poem has the most votes at 4:15 pm today will get a free pair of tickets to tonight's show. (Which you can buy here, if your poem didn't make the cut.)
#1
ode to my lovely
adolescent hard on queen
sing "flower" for me
#2
What happened, Liz Phair?
You went mainstream, Lilith Fair.
Touch your flower. Cum back.
#3
Lo-fi goddess rock
Tell me all your boy troubles
I find them dumb too
#4
Chick rock, sex machine.
Is she gonna fuck and run?
Liz Phair completes me.
#5
Fuck me like a dog
Oh liz phair the games you play
Exile exhale please
1
So the ships are in this week, and Carla decides that she wants to fuck a Navy man. She dresses up saucy, and goes out to the bars. When the sailors start wandering in, she grabs the biggest, hunkiest one she can find and buys him a drink. And then another drink, then another.
They're having a great time, and Carla's about to make her move, invite him home with her, when into the room walks a bombshell. She's wearing knee high pink boots and not much else, and her boobs defy gravity. She picks Carla's man right out of the crowd, struts up to the bar, looks the sailor right in the eye, and - completely ignoring Carla - says, "I want to be your blowjob queen."
The sailor, without a word or even a glance to Carla, follows the bombshell out of the bar like he's on a leash.
Carla turns to the bartender in despair. The bartender pours her another beer, and says,
"Sorry, honey - all Liz Phair in love and war."
They're having a great time, and Carla's about to make her move, invite him home with her, when into the room walks a bombshell. She's wearing knee high pink boots and not much else, and her boobs defy gravity. She picks Carla's man right out of the crowd, struts up to the bar, looks the sailor right in the eye, and - completely ignoring Carla - says, "I want to be your blowjob queen."
The sailor, without a word or even a glance to Carla, follows the bombshell out of the bar like he's on a leash.
Carla turns to the bartender in despair. The bartender pours her another beer, and says,
"Sorry, honey - all Liz Phair in love and war."
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